Another Day...
I'm watching this carefully...last evening and tonight Mum was offered no food at teatime. Its one thing to be offered and refuse. I managed to mention it diplomatically and got an apology and they admtted that they had probably forgot! So what happens on the mealtimes I am not present?
I managed to get some tea, two complans and almost a complete milk shake into her and gave Mum her meds.(that's almost 1,000+ calories)
Mum fell away a little at the end of the night but its a long day and meds do kick in!
I also managed to nearly take my nose off with the taxi door when I opened it, never done that before.
You know there was some cold milk given at 8pm(ish)and Mum had my Complan so I took a decent swig of that.
I think it had a sleeping draught in it. I put my head on the pillow at home and approx 90 minutes later I awake and have slept oblivious to the world. How much are they giving her? No wonder she gets confused.
I managed to get some tea, two complans and almost a complete milk shake into her and gave Mum her meds.(that's almost 1,000+ calories)
Mum fell away a little at the end of the night but its a long day and meds do kick in!
I also managed to nearly take my nose off with the taxi door when I opened it, never done that before.
You know there was some cold milk given at 8pm(ish)and Mum had my Complan so I took a decent swig of that.
I think it had a sleeping draught in it. I put my head on the pillow at home and approx 90 minutes later I awake and have slept oblivious to the world. How much are they giving her? No wonder she gets confused.
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 11:14 pm
10 Comments:
You really shouldn't drink anything that your Mum's given, though I doubt very much they put sleeping draughts in it, if she takes her other pills with no problem .
Also she was confused in the night & sometimes during the day when you had her at home wasn't she ? so nothing's really changed has it ?
if you've been with her & talking to her for 7 hours, she's bound to be a bit tired & confused by the evening, most elderly people would be.
Perhaps it would be a good idea if you told the staff you're bringing food in to give her during the afternoon, otherwise they're going to prepare a meal that she doesn't eat.
Also she might have refused her supper so often because you've already fed her, that they've given up asking.
Have you asked them what she eats when you're not there ?
Not much by all accounts, I only have a selection of Complan(which they say is good)Soup which may/may not be eaten...virtually all liquid based. I do tell them and I usually give my selection because she hasn't had what they offer or so little.
I don't talk for seven hours and often just sit with Mum, hold her hand...things like that. Being there.
Most of the time Mum is not confused and is quite with it but if you are sleeping a lot or laid in bed for hours and hours and being given pain relief I'm not surprised.
I have heard of elderly not being confused and the longer they are in a home for it to develope so keeping Mum stimulated is important.
When I left last evening the confusion was that Mum wasn't sure where she was.
Hopefully today will be better.
Most of yesterday wasn't bad.
I should add I waited to see what Mum was offered and was ready to try and feed her(even if just a few mouthfuls but nothing was brought in so that's when I started giving my stuff and when I told them what she had managed they were pleased.
It will be interesting to see if the home offers your mum some food today, while you are there.
If not, that's completely unacceptable and something has to be said.
It shouldn't be beyond them to provide something which your mum can manage e.g. soup, egg custard etc.
Is her mouth no better?
Mouth is improving, I'm told when the immune system is weak, thrush in the mouth is scommon.
All that you mention VQ would work...its the kind of thing I would give.
I'm running late...hope I get there for teatime, just have to do a flask of tea, get shaved. Will take some chicken soup, complan, tea, coffee, bananas, yogurts etc...with me(and I may sneak some brandy in a coffee if she wants one...she loved them at home)
I promised I'd go in early, and I am so late I've lost an hour!
Hope she's ok...
McMillan Nurses booklets suggesting ways to give Mum food to help build her up arrived today they have great ideas and if Mum was home I could do what they suggest but I doubt the home could/would do what is suggested and it would be difficult for me to take in...
Another booklet suggests pain does not necessarily mean the cancer has become worse. Its all to do with pain breakthrough, it could even be the tumour is pressing on a nerve...another case of asking for Radio Therapy again?
There's no reason for elderly people to become more confused when they go into a nursing home. Have you suggested they prop your Mum up more & also she has a little TV for her room ?
Also perhaps sitting with other residents in the lounge more would help ?
I had a relative in a nuring home & they didn't get more confused, neither did several other people there, they were very alert ! Perhaps you should ask the staff if they're spending time chatting to her when they can.
Hi Anthony
I was just visualising you talking for a solid seven hours and your poor mother pretending to be asleep!
Anyway, I hope she had a good day.
You saying about them forgetting her tea, do you think it is possible your Mum may forget that she has eaten? Just a thought.
I was reminded of my friend's nan who was in a home and was so hungry as they gave them so little to eat. Just a half a slice of cheap white sliced bread for tea!
Sounds like you are getting some nutrition into her, well done.
Hope she had a comfortable day.
Carol x
Just remember 'where there is life, there is hope' so be strong and keep pushing. I had a Macmillian rep say "He is fighting too hard I was thinking of telling him (My Dad)to stop fighting and relax off into heaven"
Well no thank you! Apart from not beleiving any claptrap about heaven I wanted him to fight, he was quite fit (apart from the big C of course) and in no pain and knew eaxactly where he was.The trouble was he was never
greedy about life, everytime it came on the telly about 'we are living longer'. He would say he had had his life and was taking up valuable space for young people.He died not long after that encounter with the Macmillian rep so I will never know if she went against our wishes or not about saying anything about 'giving up the fight', as I am sure he would have been influenced by it
Thanks for those comments...
They do give a new slant on things...
I'll write a new post and tell the latest.
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