Still In A Concerned About The Future Kind Of Mood...
but could be worse. Been thinking how I would love to go and watch the sea roll in and have peace. But even with a bus pass(whilst I have one)it takes around an two to three hours by bus each way and I have to change buses and hope that they all connect. A train ride would cost money(the bus is mainly free)and with the added walking distance to many railway stations or needing a bus to reach them, no time is saved so its easier just to give in and use the bus services or not bother going. In a car I could probably reach the nearest destination within an hour and the farthest in ninety minutes.
But I want to see some sea and coast, I will do it but I will have to pick the right day and leave early and come home late to make it worth while. That's assuming I can get a bus home, evening buses often mean you have to leave earlier than you'd really like to.
These are all local destinations like Whitley Bay, Redcar, Marske, Saltburn, Seaton Carew and Seaham. Much the same if you want to go to Whitby, South Shileds and if you want to go to Scarbrough we're talking four hours. If I was living in Durham City or in the opposite direction Darlington I could shave approx twenty five to forty five minutes off some of these journeys but I realise this is a simplistic way of looking at travelling because at least my location means I am quite central if I lived at the end of a route I would be adding more time to the journey. I need more express direct services. Not holding my breath.
I did make an effort to go to Richmond in N. Yorks yesterday and it filled a few hours. Next time I go I may stay longer and really have a look around, I sort've went on one bus and came back on next(almost)going took me approx an hour and a quarter(if I time the change of buses better)that could be brought down to almost an hour.
I'd like to have gone out today the way I feel(trying to get my head around recent changes)but its too late really, Sunday services, I don't want to spend money either. The sun is out but I don't think that its very warm. I'll potter about. I'm listening to the Archers and Desert Island Discs. Thinking of doing a salad with haddock. Not really a Sunday meal but...
I am way off being a pensioner yet but its creeping up on me, it will arrive soon enough, if I reach it and things may very well change thanks to Government plans, nothing is in concrete but though I believe I will be lucky to be entitled to one benefit after I am officially retired, I think I will be on the lowest state pension possible(yet that amount they say could change)but if I can still get that too I may have less to fear and would be something. If one stops or the amount coming is low there could be something like Pension Credit or Attendance Allowance so I may still see it topped up. That's all for the future, lets just live for now.
Speaking of which I am now rather than worrying and moping I am going to have a quick look down town and take one last image of a building that is being demolished and has been there for something like 40 years and suddenly its disappearing fast(a police station)its just a shell now. I will see if I can find a new lead to help me record on my computer(I hope it doesn't cost much)Come home and make lunch and then continue my house tidy up. It will stop me thinking too much.
But I want to see some sea and coast, I will do it but I will have to pick the right day and leave early and come home late to make it worth while. That's assuming I can get a bus home, evening buses often mean you have to leave earlier than you'd really like to.
These are all local destinations like Whitley Bay, Redcar, Marske, Saltburn, Seaton Carew and Seaham. Much the same if you want to go to Whitby, South Shileds and if you want to go to Scarbrough we're talking four hours. If I was living in Durham City or in the opposite direction Darlington I could shave approx twenty five to forty five minutes off some of these journeys but I realise this is a simplistic way of looking at travelling because at least my location means I am quite central if I lived at the end of a route I would be adding more time to the journey. I need more express direct services. Not holding my breath.
I did make an effort to go to Richmond in N. Yorks yesterday and it filled a few hours. Next time I go I may stay longer and really have a look around, I sort've went on one bus and came back on next(almost)going took me approx an hour and a quarter(if I time the change of buses better)that could be brought down to almost an hour.
I'd like to have gone out today the way I feel(trying to get my head around recent changes)but its too late really, Sunday services, I don't want to spend money either. The sun is out but I don't think that its very warm. I'll potter about. I'm listening to the Archers and Desert Island Discs. Thinking of doing a salad with haddock. Not really a Sunday meal but...
I am way off being a pensioner yet but its creeping up on me, it will arrive soon enough, if I reach it and things may very well change thanks to Government plans, nothing is in concrete but though I believe I will be lucky to be entitled to one benefit after I am officially retired, I think I will be on the lowest state pension possible(yet that amount they say could change)but if I can still get that too I may have less to fear and would be something. If one stops or the amount coming is low there could be something like Pension Credit or Attendance Allowance so I may still see it topped up. That's all for the future, lets just live for now.
Speaking of which I am now rather than worrying and moping I am going to have a quick look down town and take one last image of a building that is being demolished and has been there for something like 40 years and suddenly its disappearing fast(a police station)its just a shell now. I will see if I can find a new lead to help me record on my computer(I hope it doesn't cost much)Come home and make lunch and then continue my house tidy up. It will stop me thinking too much.
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 10:45 am
7 Comments:
Suggestion - if you want to go and spend some time by the sea, make it happen! :)
B&Bs must be around on the coast where you are. Organise one for a couple of nights, and then take the bus there. You just need to do some research on the internet to find a nice B&B and actually psyche yourself up into DOING it. :)
Remember - you CAN make it happen. :)
Also....please consider going to the drs and talking to him about how you feel and seeing whether your anti-depressants need tweaking.
A-L
Off AD's and things had settled down but the last of my relatives has done a dirty trick and its all word of mouth, no documents and I have to therefore learn that its happened and move on. Its the old "You can choose your friends but..."
Its still fresh and raw at present and has put a spanner in the works.
If I can get past that I will be much better. I may be confronting this head on soon with the person concerned but not expecting a good outcome or even a partial solution. Breathe and move on I suspect.
We're told that if someone hurts another they will not benefit but I'm not that sure. I try to do the right things and seem to get hurt.
I agree about the trip and staying over perhaps...
Maybe you came off ADs too soon?
If there is nothing you can do to alter the situation with your relative, then I'm afraid you're just going to have to let it go and move on... Been there, done that, learnt from it.
What about CBT to give you the tools, so to speak, to deal with things like this and enable you to positively cope without worrying/overthinking so much?
I say all this only to try to help. :) You don't seem to enjoy Life very much, and that to me is a damn shame, because we're only here once...
A-L
I'm coming out of it and have had in general a good day. I think things often look worse written down.
Yep we're certainly here once. Got home made soup on the go :-) Been in company tonight. Won a little house on the bingo. Listening to some nice relaxing music on the radio now.
Feeling quite relaxed and at ease about things...given time I can usually work things out and I see your advice in the spirit it is given as a caring friend.
Good. :) Howabout posting some photos of your flowers now you've planted them. :) Everything's flourishing down here in the south - it's lovely. :)
A-L
What a cold day. Sky is colourless...Need to find my charger cable and plug for the camera(I will and its an excuse to carry on tidying up)
Will have to think about getting lawns cut soon. TBH I need to get some stuff on the lawn to kill moss/weeds but at least they can be cut.
Will start to do more with the borders and see what flowers are put out by the supermarket. Can show the tubs for now. :-)
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