I Can't Be Helped...
at present I am in a bad place and feeling "Sorry" for myself but I do appreciate the words of comfort and support shown me. If I feel as I do now I am going to see my Dr in the next week or two. I want to tell him "things" but fear how confidential that term really is and what gets put in my notes afterwards. I know having worked in a Dr's surgery many years ago all kinds of asides are added and opinions of patients.
I'm even toying with going to see my local vicar for a chat because its said that what passes between the clergy and a parishioner is confidential and goes no further, not that I am having a confession of sorts but sometimes you need input from someone that is disconnected to you.
Then again, this cloud may pass and I'm making more of something that is nothing. Now there's a cryptic post if ever there was one.
On the other hand I have finally cleared virtually all of Mum's clothes this weekend and taken them to the charity shop. That is not why I feel as I do. I have approx. 6 outfits I have hung onto and they will be let go of soon.
I think money or lack of it is the root of my present melancholy feeling even though money has never been that important to me nor materialistic things. I have my kitchen gadgets, a computer, a TV, a bed, something to sit on and that's enough for me. I've no one to leave anything to and I can't take it with me. And keepsakes that perhaps meant something to me wouldn't to anyone else.
At least we're coming to the right time of the year.
I am usually very strong and cope with just about anything and out of Mum's belief in me I will overcome this blip.
I've all my tubs planted for the garden and in coming weeks hopefully I will get the borders sorted. And in the coming weeks pull the house around. Not much else that needs doing.
I'm now about to take the clothes to the shop, dry some clothes in the dryer and I'm cooking some chicken in the slow cookers. An exciting Sunday you must admit.
I did receive some bad news yesterday and found out that an Uncle at had a heart attack unbeknownst to me and he admitted that he has lost his confidence and not going out and tomorrow I understand he is to be tested for Alzheimer's. Doom and gloom but I'm trying to move onwards and upwards and see my glass as half full rather than half empty.
On the plus side it was a struggle to go to and from Durham yesterday but I did it and when I came home I was shattered. I fell straight into bed upon my return home and because the concert overran I did not get home before Midnight and was on the last bus home. However, the brass band concert was superb. Three bands in all The Brighouse and Rastrick, The Veg Vardy(formally the Ever Ready)and the NASUWT Riverside Brass Band.
In the final part of the concert they all played together as one so you can imagine how that sounded.
There was a bit of drama a few minutes before the concert when there was an almighty clatter and I turned to see someone take a nasty fall down one of the main aisles and it didn't look good for sometime but he eventually took his seat and watched the first half but he seemed to disappear come the interval and second half. He looked quite elderly. Easy for me to say when I'm getting older by the day. They are wide steps, not one after the other...you drop only occasionally and they are not steep so its quite a friendly layout with lots of room.
Update:Feeling more upbeat this evening so perhaps coming out of this without the need to take matters further regarding counselling of any kind.
I'm even toying with going to see my local vicar for a chat because its said that what passes between the clergy and a parishioner is confidential and goes no further, not that I am having a confession of sorts but sometimes you need input from someone that is disconnected to you.
Then again, this cloud may pass and I'm making more of something that is nothing. Now there's a cryptic post if ever there was one.
On the other hand I have finally cleared virtually all of Mum's clothes this weekend and taken them to the charity shop. That is not why I feel as I do. I have approx. 6 outfits I have hung onto and they will be let go of soon.
I think money or lack of it is the root of my present melancholy feeling even though money has never been that important to me nor materialistic things. I have my kitchen gadgets, a computer, a TV, a bed, something to sit on and that's enough for me. I've no one to leave anything to and I can't take it with me. And keepsakes that perhaps meant something to me wouldn't to anyone else.
At least we're coming to the right time of the year.
I am usually very strong and cope with just about anything and out of Mum's belief in me I will overcome this blip.
I've all my tubs planted for the garden and in coming weeks hopefully I will get the borders sorted. And in the coming weeks pull the house around. Not much else that needs doing.
I'm now about to take the clothes to the shop, dry some clothes in the dryer and I'm cooking some chicken in the slow cookers. An exciting Sunday you must admit.
I did receive some bad news yesterday and found out that an Uncle at had a heart attack unbeknownst to me and he admitted that he has lost his confidence and not going out and tomorrow I understand he is to be tested for Alzheimer's. Doom and gloom but I'm trying to move onwards and upwards and see my glass as half full rather than half empty.
On the plus side it was a struggle to go to and from Durham yesterday but I did it and when I came home I was shattered. I fell straight into bed upon my return home and because the concert overran I did not get home before Midnight and was on the last bus home. However, the brass band concert was superb. Three bands in all The Brighouse and Rastrick, The Veg Vardy(formally the Ever Ready)and the NASUWT Riverside Brass Band.
In the final part of the concert they all played together as one so you can imagine how that sounded.
There was a bit of drama a few minutes before the concert when there was an almighty clatter and I turned to see someone take a nasty fall down one of the main aisles and it didn't look good for sometime but he eventually took his seat and watched the first half but he seemed to disappear come the interval and second half. He looked quite elderly. Easy for me to say when I'm getting older by the day. They are wide steps, not one after the other...you drop only occasionally and they are not steep so its quite a friendly layout with lots of room.
Update:Feeling more upbeat this evening so perhaps coming out of this without the need to take matters further regarding counselling of any kind.
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 2:07 pm
5 Comments:
I'm back after five days in Norway. :)
So sorry to read you are down - PLEASE do go and see your dr, maybe you need anti depressants tweaking or something. Please don't struggle alone.
Glad to hear you have your tubs planted. :) Try to keep busy doing positive stuff like that. :)
A-L
Oh how wonderful to go to Norway, you must feel so much better for that :-)
I was mainly feeling down because "Big" and nasty things had happened on the money front and I could see no way out. I hate to be beaten and over money.
On Friday I spent so much time talking with various advice organisations who to be honest were no use at all. The same thing happened on Monday and Tuesday.
Then when I felt I was getting somewhere they said I should phone a Government dept because then everyone is informed, that call told me another income source was likely to stop or be greatly reduced so suddenly I was losing two thirds of my income. And the windfall causing this isn't a lot.
I could reapply but not for some time and though I probably would succeed in my claim it was not guaranteed unless I drop below a certain level within 12 weeks of receiving it. But do I want/need? What is essential?
I finally got somewhere by pressing to speak to someone higher up the chain of command who makes decisions rather than the usual staff at the call centre and though not overly happy and I will lose money for upto a year, I believe that I can keep going and I should not lose as much as feared but its enough.
I will start to have help(this sounds a bit double Dutch)as I spend money(proving what I spend it on)and if I reach a certain level within 12 weeks of my windfall though one source of income will be reduced at least some remains and it avoids having to jump through hoops and start from scratch.
Such a small windfall(and it is)has caused many headaches. I have been told(I had a long chat with "Those" who decide what is seen as acceptable use of money)and I know what I am allowed to do and is seen as acceptable. I won't see the windfall for perhaps 3-4mths anyhow so things stay the same awhile longer.
I have been told I can buy curtains, carpets, decorates the house, beds, take an odd holiday(perhaps)obviously pay utility bills, maybe an odd taxi ride if I have a receipt. And of course house rent and other such payments will take it down.
And though I wouldn't have chosen it as a main purchase but because walking can be bad and become worse I am allowed to buy a good quality mobility scooter and if choosen carefully it will last me a long time. That purchase alone will drop me well within the safety zone.
I certainly could not have considered one without the extra money.
I may even consider a stair lift.
If I ever move by choice or otherwise I'm not bothered if I lose all the money spent on those two purchases(I may be able to recoup a small amount if I sell them as second hand)and its helped my physically and moneywise now.
Furniture/beds can go with me(probably curtains too)
Carpets, tend to be left behind when you move anyhow.
Its been an interesting learning curve.
You want my advice? Buy that mobility scooter! You'll get so much freedom from it and won't be so tired. It will be a worthy investment.
And also have a really nice holiday somewhere abroad - somewhere you've always wanted to go. :)
As the saying goes "you can't take it with you". Enjoy your life NOW. :)
Oslo was fabulous, thanks, visited a lot of museums and went on a fjord boat trip. :)
A-L
Superb and that's a great idea if they won't see a holiday as "Getting rid" of capital(I can also have a cheaper one in the UK)or a few weekends away perhaps.
Look at the Saga holidays for the older people...would mean you are looked after whilst on holiday and there'd be no noisy kids or anything. :)
Visiting places abroad is wonderfully enriching...I'm off to Vienna in May. :)
I don't want to post details on here, but I was in a similar situation 10 years ago to the one you are in now (getting rid of capital to drop below the level "allowed") I wasn't allowed to keep my very modest "windfall" to put it aside for my old age security (which was what I wanted to do) so I spent it on a holiday to the USA. I didn't get questioned, and I think it's perfectly reasonable that you spend it on a holiday somewhere. Anywhere in the world you've always dreamed of visiting? :)
A-L
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