Just Tidying Up Earlier Posts...

Nothing exciting...

 

You'll know that I have had concerns over the care plan Mum was put on and much has been made of it in the press and media.  My Dr says the plan is good but the problem is how relatives of loved ones do not have it explained to them and he said my Mum was very ill and there was nothing more that could be done but he was surprised and shocked by the question the Coroner's Representative put to me when I identified Mum's body "Was I planning on suing the Nursing Home for the care she had received?"

 

 

He asked why they would ask that and then when I told him that they had asked to take tissue samples and without them they had said Mum could not be cremated for some time, he asked me again why and I had to admit I had no answer. But had I heard something that I did not wish to, I would be upset even more and I did not want to delay Mum's funeral/cremation any longer...for Mum as much as anyone...I'll always have questions...the suggestion now could be that I should have asked questions and why they wanted to take tissue samples...

I have delayed the scattering of Mum's ashes until the start of next year and am thinking of having them brought back to me in an ern. I can return to the crematorium any time I wish and have them scattered there but I'm not ready yet. I am trying to debate if there is somewhere more special I can choose for Mum(I realise this is largely symbolic)and probably for my peace of mind as much as anything or whether to wait until I pass away and perhaps be scattered together...I may of course change my mind before January.

I realise that I have mentioned Mum a lot and not my dear Dad who meant so much to me too but I guess when almost twenty Nine years have passed by memories are not as clear and Mum and myself were there to support each other and it gave some familiarity and security that things were still somewhat the same whereas now I am alone. And though not true of all Mother and Son relationships we were close and had a special bond. Besides it is still a very recent event in my life.

I finally saw my own Dr says if I can stay put that I should because my location is better for me on health grounds and sees my point but that doesn't mean he can do anything about it...he is also offering his support for when I attend a possible medical to prove my health problems...of which I have quite a few and they are likely to remain as they are or become worse. But the fear is that the company that does these tests has a very bad reputation and as said in an earlier post some months ago there were two documentaries on TV about their procedures. And anecdotal evidence runs into many examples from those affected as well as reputable organisations and charities. In the States there have been concerns raised where they are involved that has seen legal action taken over how they operate.

It is suggested that many people have to go to appeal here find the original decision is overturned. But they try to wear you down as often you are called back in quite soon and have to go through it all again. Also and this is a worry even if you are given supporting evidence from a Dr and/or Consultant they ignore it...which makes you wonder who knows you better than those who have treated for years and my own Dr said he has heard of the happening but will still offer help when I submit my forms.

I have at least 6-8 problems...that work separately or sometimes together. But I have been in touch with an organisation similar to the CAB and they have advised me what I am likely to expect, told me not to worry and they are there to help, also some tips on filling out the forms...that still does not mean that I will be successful or won't become stressed.

And for various reasons even if I am successful. My situation may change in the future and for a few months I may not be entitled to any help. The worry will be that when I re-apply I will be unsuccessful as I will have to start from scratch and the person doing the assessment may see things differently from the previous claim...I will just have to try and live each day as it comes and not to look too far ahead fearing what the future brings.