Thought Long And Hard About Posting This...
If I have to have a long life ahead I do hope I can see the point of each day and say that was a good one but with all the likely austere times ahead and so many living so simply(That's not bad in itself)realising what is important in life(and it ain't material things)After all you can't take it with you.
Then again it is nice if you are comfortable.
But you know, I am not depressed as I say this...if I was to pass away in my sleep one day soon(you notice I chose the way everyone wants to go)it wouldn't bother me. I'm not really sure that I am bothered about having a long, long life and dragging time out. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the dawning of a new day, the moon and stars in the sky at night, the beauty of a flower, the innocence in a child's smile or laughter and so on but they are all fleeting in the fullness of time.
I can't take them with me either when I go...and eventually the world will end so it will be as if all this never happened anyhow...oh how morbid...but honestly I am saying this but I don't feel too bad...But I am allowed t have such thoughts and I suspect many of us do at some time...Equally, another day I could very well change my mind and say "Life is good!"
I have just eaten(well perhaps a hour ago)a salad and two smoked mackerel fillets(what a good buy they were, inexpensive and I can do a few meals(hot or cold)and very good for you nutritionally and...few bones. I am about to have a cup of coffee and I am about to lay on my bed messing around on the laptop looking around the web and reading my computer magazine...and if I doze off, I won't complain...I may even indulge by eating a small bar of chocolate or packet of white chocolate buttons with those little sprinkly things on...
Earlier, I thought what the hell and purchased two cans of corned beef(You know for years I have avoided beef)some lime marmalade(those will be added to my food store)good dates on them...right until 2017 and a loaf of bread that had been reduced.
Then again it is nice if you are comfortable.
But you know, I am not depressed as I say this...if I was to pass away in my sleep one day soon(you notice I chose the way everyone wants to go)it wouldn't bother me. I'm not really sure that I am bothered about having a long, long life and dragging time out. That doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the dawning of a new day, the moon and stars in the sky at night, the beauty of a flower, the innocence in a child's smile or laughter and so on but they are all fleeting in the fullness of time.
I can't take them with me either when I go...and eventually the world will end so it will be as if all this never happened anyhow...oh how morbid...but honestly I am saying this but I don't feel too bad...But I am allowed t have such thoughts and I suspect many of us do at some time...Equally, another day I could very well change my mind and say "Life is good!"
I have just eaten(well perhaps a hour ago)a salad and two smoked mackerel fillets(what a good buy they were, inexpensive and I can do a few meals(hot or cold)and very good for you nutritionally and...few bones. I am about to have a cup of coffee and I am about to lay on my bed messing around on the laptop looking around the web and reading my computer magazine...and if I doze off, I won't complain...I may even indulge by eating a small bar of chocolate or packet of white chocolate buttons with those little sprinkly things on...
Earlier, I thought what the hell and purchased two cans of corned beef(You know for years I have avoided beef)some lime marmalade(those will be added to my food store)good dates on them...right until 2017 and a loaf of bread that had been reduced.
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 8:01 pm
44 Comments:
Gildy, you're getting far too inward looking & introspective.All you're thinking about is storing up food & buying winter clothes. For goodness sake, go out & join a club or do some voluntary work. You must try & widen your horizons a bit ! Even if you only helped people in a minor way, you'd feel valued & needed and wouldn't say awful things like you wouldn't mind if you dies in your sleep now. You're no age ! If you went out & talked to other people more about different subjects, you wouldn't drive yourself mad worrying about your future .
Thanks Anon,
I have had a good night regardless of my post and have not been thinking about anything deep. I have been thinking about making my own bread again and about food :-)
My problem is I am questioning my decision to change to British Gas and some have said why have I not been offered a different tariff rather than still being on a standard one but how many times can I keep changing.
If I get it right I will stay with the supplier and be loyal...that's my biggest worry at present.
I'm happy with my purchases and think I have done well...I want to save but that isn't allowed so it is being used and put to good use to make my future life more comfortable.
Of course I do think there is something about accepting/resigning yourself to/being matter affect about such things then if things are better than feared it's a bonus. I am sleeping ok too...so I still think it's a journey I am on and these are all part of the coping process.
sort the garden out! :-)
As you have implied in your blog, you are a very long,long, time dead, so why don't you make the most of what you have to day?
The past and future don't exist you have only now.
I agree with everything Anon says. Your life is shopping for the future and waiting for death! Live for today and be thankful for your lot. There are many in much worst circumstances than you.
Have you thought that if you have to move to a flat, you won't have anywhere to keep such a large store cupboard. I don't have now.
Live for today!
I'll find some way to have my store of food even if it's on show and not hidden. I feel reasonably calm and not too bothered. If things stayed much as they are I could probably manage...
Well, I am enjoying my food, will try to keep warm and continue to enjoy my music, radio and internet and in a few weeks I will be at my concerts at the theatre...mainly music and some one man show type performances so they will offer some escapism...
Span,
I'm going to relax and just have a lovely Bank Holiday of lazing around(what's different everyone shouts :-)
There are some great programmes on the radio, I've lovely food in the store room and fridge/freezer(and I'm going to have some booze :-)
Life is what happens while your making plans - John Lennon
Only you could go from death to smoked mackerel fillets Anthony! :D
Cx
Span's right, you need to sort your garden out with Autumn approaching, when was the back lawn last cut ? !
As soon as it stops raining and dries out a bit I'm going to have the gardener out and have the lawns cut and the hedge tidied then things aren't so bad...
I do wonder where we are going Carol. I think I am doing well regarding Mum but wonder about the future, If I thought that would be reasonably ok I would stop planning for the future and live for the day...
I think you need to make some friends Anthony, there must be some like minded people in your area. I am sure there are discussion groups and coffee mornings in churches etc. You are so intelligent and aware and wasted sitting at home alone.
Cx
Thank you for the compliment Carol. Once I know where what's happening and I can be sure my income is secure I know that I will improve...
My town seems to be lacking in some things and groups as you suggest seems to be lacking or you need transport to get there...
But I'll not give up...I'm not a quitter...
I think you quitted a long time ago!
We all keep plodding on and life is full of ups and downs. How quick do you want someone to get over something so important in their lives. We all have our own way of coping.
Some seem fine and then stumble, others take longer and find their way. I think it is wrong to put a time limit to such things and most people say you that you are never the same again, you just look at things differently.
And you will have moments many years down the line but to use something Mum said herself...you know that you are doing well when those thoughts are not dominating your waking moments and you are able to think of other things.
Again, I get mixed up which Anon I am reading/answering and whether it's the same person...
I like the John Lennon quote...and it's so true. Life can and does change in seconds.
Thinking things over, I think that I am a tryer rather than a quitter.
I also think I am reasonably open about my thoughts and feelings as I post what some would choose not to and that is even when I know someone is likely to criticise...
"Thank you for the compliment Carol. Once I know where what's happening and I can be sure my income is secure I know that I will improve...
My town seems to be lacking in some things and groups as you suggest seems to be lacking or you need transport to get there...
But I'll not give up...I'm not a quitter..."
So basically you're saying that until you know your income is safe for the rest of your life, you're not going to start making friends or joining groups ? At this rate you could still be sitting at home doing nothing in 20 years ! Oh yes & transport's another excuse - mobility scooter !!
As I said before, you are a quitter....from having a normal life with friends you can meet up with, or a group you can join. There are plenty around if you look....and get a mobility scooter....it will give you a new life....believe me, I know!
I haven't said that I won't get a mobility scooter but...if I have to move, the new place may not have access for a mobility scooter. If income is limited I may not be able to afford the insurance, repairs etc...
My eyes are not as good as they were so that may go against my having one?
I have not said that I would not try and join a group but if income reduces and you need buses and taxis, I now have to pay more bills, some things would take priority.
Around the town a taxi one way can cost from £3 up over and 5miles+ can cost £12 so how often can you go places? remember you have to double that up so you can come home...Even a bus one way can cost approx £5.
My town used to have a lot of groups but not these days...
And the Anon telling me I am quitter you don't know what research I have done.
A lot of groups are based in churches and I'm not sure I want to be so involved with church life...and much as I think I could give to the elderly in homes, having experienced what Mum did I want nothing to do with them unless I have no choice.
Laughingly, I keep forgetting I am almost elderly myself...and if I am forced into employment(even though I have health issues)I may not have time to take up involvement with a group and as I will probably have to rest to get my energy built up again even to work, that may be out.
If you want to garden, walk, exercise, dance there could be some group but they are not for me...because I can't do it!
You're not officially elderly until your 65 ! Stop thinking like an old man ! As for not getting a mobility scooter, just get one & then if they try & move you into a one bedroom flat, tell them you're not going unless you can take your scooter with you.
As for church groups, you don't have to get involved with the religeous side of it, just go along & offer to be a volunteer. Sorry, but you're running out of excuses for doing anything but sit in the house & listen to the radio, or wondering what to eat next . As for gardening groups, there's nothing to stop you planting some winter flowers or herbs in tubs.
I knew you were going to say that :-)
I nearly said it for you. I suggest that you are not elderly until you are 67, as they have put the retirement age back further and you watch that will be moved again.
Also, if people are living longer, you could suggest that being a pensioner/elderly starts even later.
I bet you will hear the Government saying that before too long.
Therefore the saying "Life Begins At Forty!" may be redundant.
I don't need a gardening group to plant tubs and herbs. I haven't planted herbs but have tubs and hanging baskets in memory of Mum and also for my enjoyment.
I am living for today but uncertainity about finances and whether I'll have a roof over my head is bound to affect how I think, if that was sorted, I would relax.
We plan for the future and none of us know how long we have or circumstances can change in seconds.
There are people, who retired, should be living their twilight years doing what they want, Be that laying bed longer and not having to get up at the break of dawn as many did when they worked.
Doing voluntary work, joining groups as you suggest, following a hobby, learning a skill having an interest. Perhaps having a few more holidays.
Not having to think about finances but is a worry of sorts for many and some have had to return to work even though physically they are not really well enough.
If you have built up enough money in the bank, never had to claim, probably life will be fine in retirement but
the Government has decided what is the "Working age!" and "Retirement" and moved the goalposts.
Many of the "Perks" people are getting now from the age of 60 including bus passes will be withdrawn after the next election despite anything they say now.
Yet access to a bus pass can give many freedom from staying in their homes or being restricted to a small area.
That bus pass mean more consider doing more for "The community!" Voluntary and socially, even me.
As I have said you assume my income is ok...at present I'll not complain but we know the cost of living is increasing(Food, Utility Bills, Petrol, Council Tax etc...)
We know "they" are reducing the help people get from the State, even the genuine(and that includes people who are ill with long term conditions)and changes being brought in will see income reduce still further.
Many employers are not paying "Living Wages" and few people have seen a wage rise in years, so they are still having to ask for help from the "State"
Employers will say that they cannot afford to give a wage rise and tell you how lucky you are to have a job. So will the Government.
Really, the big problem is the cost of buying a house, renting a house and keeping a roof over your head(socially or privately)and we get into the lack of houses being built and affordable rents.
You either need to be paid more to cover the cost or the landlord/council/Housing Association to reduce what you pay and neither is going to happen.
You mention me sitting at home.
I like my own company, listening to music and the radio, going on the internet, eating.
I don't ask for much and that is probably why the population has not risen and not gone on the streets to make their views heard as they did over the Poll Tax many years ago.
Also, the possiblity that if you are arrested you'll have a criminal record that may affect so much of your future.
Equally, if they did make their views known, which political party has the answers, would do a U turn?
All the main parties are the same, so what choice have you got when you put your "X" on the ballot paper?
The country is and this a rare word for me to use(apologies)is F*****!
I know we are not as bad as Greece or countries that we often give overseas aid to(How can we still afford to do that?)
Poverty is relevent to the country that you live and the life you have been led to believe you should have.
The media has much to answer for...
Health, a roof over your head, food on the table, being warm, love of a family if you have one, caring for each other should come first. The materialistic side of things comes next(or should)and are extras to make your life more comfortable.
I am afraid that many who look as though they have everything are living on credit and are in debt and it is a sham. I have read/heard so many stories like this.
Equally, many are struggling(even those working)and they are having to seek out charity shops, food banks, soup kitchens, do without and cut back. But this is hidden from other relatives or their friends.
Generally the media and politicians ignore what I believe is the majority of how the population lives.
I suspect a lot of the stress and depression that people are treated for comes down to money problems because they have overstretched themseleves or others who don't have enough.
In general, the population may complain amongst themselves about their lot but they just get on with it!
That is why/how our leaders get away with it! They panic when the public shows unrest.
We may be paid more than those who went before us and many may have the trappings of wealth but they are still living the lifestyle that their parents and grandparents did.
They would be buying what was the latest gadget for their time.
In the 70's that was probably things like the package holiday and going to Spain...
It is true though that for many they saved up for the extras. If they could not afford something they did not try and buy it until credit came in(you know the catelogue)using a store card etc...
I could do with replacing my carpets, some furniture, mattresses and decorating my house but my priority is staying warm, eating well, keeping a roof over my head and having some entertainment so a radio, a phone and the internet helps keep me sane.
Yes the extras I have manage to get together lately are welcome but will I be able to afford to run them? Replace/repair them when they break?
But for now they are items I may not be able to afford in the future.
But is that a lot to ask in the 21st century?
You'll notice nearly all my gadgets I have purchased in recent months are to try and stay warm or make cooking easier or less expensive.
But if things get really tough, I will be back to all the ideas our ancestors used to stay warm and feed themselves(you know like hot water bottles)stretching food out so you get more meals from it, if you have to cook using an oven trying to cook more at one time.
Lots of freezing of food to use another day and batch cooking.
Doing even more make and mend(I'm not a great person at sewing)You can see that I done so but I can sew up holes in clothes and sew on buttons...and I suppose I culd use that stuff that welds hems together or a fabric glue. The trousers I have purchased lately have been altered professionally and hopefully will last me years...
I have eight pairs.
A spare pair of shoes and trainers(I may get some more yet)I would like some wellingtons too.
Six or seven sets of thermals...
Two pairs of PJ's that I work between(but a couple of spare sets...they are different as they are more like a T-shirt and shorts)
Possibly, a hat, gloves and a scarf for use in winter.
A Dressing Gown and some slippers.
And some lounge trousers(bit like Track Suit Bottoms)but they are in daily use and are getting worn and I have to keep sewing up tears and holes so a few spare might be a good idea...
Maybe I should've waited and used Mum's money but at least I am prepared.
I am happy with my food store and just bu=y odd things now...later I think some shelves would be tidier and easier to see what I have and might take up less space.
Crates are difficult to move around and the shape means you cannot get as much in each crate as you might...
But I have known people wear such items indoors as you can lose a lot of heat through feet, hands and the head.
I have some shirts, jumpers, cardigans and coats from the charity shop.
They sell some jackets(like you see on a suit)for 99p so I may try and get some spare jackets but they may need altering professionally but if you have already saved on the cost of the jacket I suppose that is ok.
Sadly, most of these clothes are probably donated after someone dies but I cannot afford to be proud and most look as good as new.
I know that most of the clothes that I buy will now be from charity shops.
Not that there is anything wrong with charity shops(in a way they have replaced jumble sales)just as Car Boot sales have...and as long as they remain as Charity Shops but being businesses the worry is that they too will start to increase prices...
The one I use charges 99p for everything others start their prices at a higher point.
Pity that those in my own town do not offer the choice others do in larger towns.
My fridge/freezer is not as big as I'd like(I know I am single)but I'd like a larger freezer but to run two and the extra space is not a good idea but if/when it needs replacing I may consider looking at a larger freezer.
I am using the washer and tumble drier sparingly.
I'm not sure I can cut back much further.
As you seem looking forward to retirement age,have you thought of trying to wangle your way into care home? at least you would be kept warm,get your meals and be able play on the computer all day with nothing else to worry about.
I don't want to be in a care home or have carer's coming in...I am trying to stay independent. If I have as much as possible I can be reasonably comfortable.
There are people much younger than me(working)and struggling...Many are dreading the thought of retiring and maybe needing care.
A recent Government survey on happiness showed that roughly speaking people up to their 40's were reasonably positive, People who are retired and over 65 and older are mainly happy and roughly the 40's and 50's most apprehensive.
Is the care home going to supply a PC? The meals are horrible. Why would I want to wangle a place in a care home? No room for my books and cd's...
No thank you...if that's my only option I will be very happy to quit and leave this world now...
" People who are retired and over 65 and older are mainly happy and roughly the 40's and 50's most apprehensive."
Meaning you're in the age group which is most apprehensive ? I don't think that's true !
Oh dear, you've just written 3 long posts mostly listing what clothes you've got & what labour saving meals you intend to cook in the future. I really think you should broaden your horizons a bit !
No I haven't anon....only one comment that mentioned what I have and why.
The rest of the comments were about the situation many find themselves during these difficult times.
Also, you ignore that I am prepared which I think is a good idea and guess what all those I have managed to talk with where the situation I am in and what I have done since losing Mum believe I am managing well and my ideas are good and are thinking of or have done similar themselves. The only criticism I seem to get is on here...
You are also disagreeing with a what came up in a survey that said what age group is least happiest. I also some months ago.
And I suspect many who spend time at home on limited budgets either by choice or illness spend their days tidying their house, reading a book, listening to the radio or watching tv, listening to music, resting or sleeping, possibly gardening, shopping, planning and preparing meals.
Some may(if they have access to transport)may do some voluntary work or have the odd treat but I know from around here most just do mostly what I do.
Most potter around. Some are caring for someone who is ill and that takes their time or looking after children allowing them to work.
I'm not sure what you expect people to do or think that many have incomes that they can do much more especially when on a fixed income where they see it reducing.
The last time I saw Mum's brother and his wife they have all but given up running a car, they watch tv, do a little gardening, read a book, cook meals, go on the internet, tidy the house and do the usual chores and that is not much different to what I do.
They were reasonably affluent but are cutting back on how much heating and electric they use and shopping mainly in Aldi and Lidl(discount food stores)and charity shops...
The only concession they sometimes are able to make use of is being on a bus route and having a bus pass when they need to shop.
Hi Anthony
When I suggested a group I was thinking about a group the church I clean runs.
They meet every third or fourth thursday, something like that. they usually have a guest speaker
and cover all sorts of topics, very few which are religious.
The funny thing it is advertised as an over 50 group, yet most people of that age are out slogging, not many have the time to attend such a relaxing event.
There is a real assortment of people there, some disabled and in wheelchairs, some who find it hard getting about and some who are perfectly fine, not religious atall, just needing company.
I sat in on one discussion and met a very nice lady who did not attend church atall! A brief prayer might be said but there is never any hard line preaching. I think people misunderstand churches greatly and think that all they talk about is Jesus and God but no so.
Once they had a guest speaker talking about the history of the pre-fab. That is one I would have loved to attend but sadly had to work.
There has to be something in your area. Even if once a month. You just never know who you might meet.
I do agree with you though about most people just getting on with things, pottering, tv, radio shopping and managing life. Infact I sometimes envy people who don't have to go to work as I love being at home.
All the best
Cx
PS. I got an amazing upright fridge freezer off freecycle.
I now have a chest one (my old one) which I intend to run from my shed, for bottled water, milk and reduced bread and other stuff just in case of the zombie apocolypse!!;o)
PPS. I forgot to mention once a year the church takes away a group of people for a week. I work for one of the old guys who goes and he enjoys it immensely. Says the hotels are great and they have a good old gab with each other.
He has gone to that church for years and yet when I see him, just chats about the soaps, his family, never a mention of all the "Jesus Freaks" trying to take over his life.
Cr2lamb I doubt if he is interested in all of that?,
he just wants to be left alone in his place with a cheque being posted through every week and blow everything and everybody else.
No I don't Anon...You have no idea what situation I am in and my blog is a snapshot of the time and place I am in, Not everything is posted. It has no baring on what I have done in my past or may in the future.
I have been to the CAB today and though it looks like I will always have a roof over my head(so one worry taken care of)I have much to think about.
I think you would always have a roof on your head if you're paying your rent. They wouldn't throw you out on the street, but you might get a much smaller place to live in. Might not be room for your store room though, and it's got bigger since you showed us the photos.
.....and I'm a different anon to the last one, but I have spoken in this blog..........
Thanks Anon,
It hasn't grown by much. If I can find better crates to store the food, it may fit in another property, if the crates are stacked.
I have done a search on property available and to be honest there isn't much.
Most property is in less desirable areas of the town and most are still two bedrooms so I will save £13 at the most.
If I don't use a taxi a couple of times I can pay for that...and this assumes I continue to get the help I am now...and I think that could go pear shape.
CAB did as I say give me a virtual certainty that I won't be homeless. That was about the only good news...
I either live for the day and worry later but in theory I can carry on for a few more months but things will change.
I hate the cost of electric and gas but I have had to sign up and the killer is the standing charges, paying that before you actually get to use any gas or electric...
The prices are frozen for approx 12 months but the standing charges will cost around £300 annually. But I can't seem to find a better deal.
Just have to do all I can and not use either as much as possible. It's crazy paying for something you don't want to use.
But we're all paying a fortune for our gas and electricity, and are struggling.......you are not on your own. We.ve always had to pay standing charges, so that isn't anything new. We just have to get on with it!
So if you moved into a smaller property, how far would you be from the shops ? If it's only a mile or so you could do that on a mobility scooter ?
So even if the rent's only £13 a week cheaper think what you'd save on the fuel bills. You'd also save on paying a gardener . Also if most of the people in those properties are single or elderly , you'd have more people to talk to !
Anon said"But we're all paying a fortune for our gas and electricity, and are struggling.......you are not on your own. We.ve always had to pay standing charges, so that isn't anything new. We just have to get on with it!"
Yep, that is true and I would stick up for you too...whether you are retired, ill. working or unemployed ut it depends on how low your income is, how much savings you have and whether you have no more slack to cut especially if you are not spending your money on items that are not necessities...
But if you are struggling to keep warm, put food on the table and keep a roof over your head and there is much uncertainty.
Its not just every day costs keep rising but they keep looking at ways to take more off you such as this BT.
The unfairness of that is that if you are not of working age or living in private rented accomadation you don't pay it. The problem is that a private landlord will probably charge a higher rent and you have less protection if they decide to get rid of you.
Anonymous said...
"So if you moved into a smaller property, how far would you be from the shops ? If it's only a mile or so you could do that on a mobility scooter ?
So even if the rent's only £13 a week cheaper think what you'd save on the fuel bills. You'd also save on paying a gardener . Also if most of the people in those properties are single or elderly , you'd have more people to talk to !"
Properties in my area are like gold dust because few are under HA ownership...but those that are further away so away from the shops and where everything happens...and if I move(and invest in a mobility scooter as you suggest)it will have to be a place I can get the scooter into for storage...)
A lot of the properties are in horrible areas and small properties are few...
My gardener costs me very little so that isn't so much of a problem.
On benefits or even many who work they need to claim help because wages are low and they will be caught by the changes too and we haven't talked about the constant rise of the council tax...
I reckon the average rent on most properties on my town annually is £5,200, The council tax around £2,000 and if they add this BT as most properties are 3 bedroom that will add another £1,248 and I hear that HA's will actually charge more BT than council's...so their BT may be £1,344.
So even away from London which always gets mentioned as being expensive even around here if you were earning and had to pay for everything and not be helped in any way you'd have to find £8,544 annually to have a roof over your head. Approx £170 a week. I keep hearing the average wage is £250 so that leaves £80 for food, travel costs, heating, electric, clothes and whatever else I have missed. I assume you have to pay tax on that £250 as well.
How do people do it?
To be honest I don't think most jobs pay £250. Possibly a politician, a Dr and the like might. And many in the media, specialist professions like architectures, professors and footballers :-)
I know many footballers don't earn what the they do in the premiership...
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