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Perhaps you'll learn more about me as you read my blog. For anyone who translates my blog using the translator facility, don't forget if you wish to read the comments in your own language to click on the title of the post down the left hand side otherwise they will remain in english. Also I assume that the translation is accurate but I don't know, so please allow for errors.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Having A Bit Of A Wobble...

Can't pin it down to anything in particular...Is it missing Mum? Realisation of my mortality?(That would play into Anon's hands...)I hope not! The horrible weather? Worries of the future? I don't know...I have nothing in particular in my mind.

I don't want to go out and walk around the same shops again. I bet that I do. If I go out of town, it's expensive and again, it's just more shops. I might be able to spend now but heck, when the income gets reduced further and it will, I can be thrifty as I like((others have to be)but it will be scary and the difference in my spending power will take some getting used to.

Then again I am not terrifically materialistic, I can't take it with me. What I have mainly is to try and make my life easier. Spare money so you can pay bills helps but health and loved ones are the priority believe me, inner peace if you are alone(comfortable within your own skin)

All I ask is being able to listen to the radio and/music, stay warm, eat reasonably well, stay reasonably healthy and manage my condition, have access to the internet and be able to pay to repair my PC so I have access to the outside world. I can access knowledge, entertainment and information and in comparison to using a I'd manage. An odd theatre trip or a holiday would be nice but plenty of people don't/can't. I guess you have to count your blessings...Being envious gets you nowhere...

Perhaps this is all at the bottom of it...it wasn't anything specific until I started writing this blog entry...it will pass no doubt. Thoughts like mine are felt by many, I am not unique. They say Dr's and health professionals suffer from such thoughts more than most...I can understand that.PC in a library, needing a taxi to go places or buy items te internet is quite low in cost plus access to a phone we're talking of approx 3.5p an hour.

When my mind wanders as it has whilst writing this, I have nothing at the forefront dominating my thoughts and most days, my mind is a blank and I am not thinking deeply. I can go for hours in a similar way to how I always have...

I may feel better after having a cup of tea or coffee and something to eat...don't worry...I have been eating and have not lost my appetite...


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