We All Have Opinions And We "Ain't" Always Going To Agree...
But(and I know some may say)as I have no children of my own perhaps I have no right to pass an opinion but I really believe that if you can afford economically to stay at home and raise children, even if you decide that they should socialise with other children at a Nursery for a few hours per week or you can get together with other Mums and have a kind of social group, children are happier and more emotionally adjusted.
I think that is how I became who I am and why most of my childhood and adulthood was happy. Why I believe that I am well adjusted.
A couple of people who post comments on my blog have been critical, suggesting that I did not mix much, that my parents should have encouraged me to do more but I was always out playing with friends all Summer long. In the evenings when not at school, I went through a period where I socialised and met people. Another period we used to talk on CB radio but then met and we set up a CB club, a venue where everyone could get together so we were not just talking on the airwaves. I often went to the cinema and theatre. I did 15+ years of voluntary work working in hospital radio where the most time was spent on the wards often talking to lonely and frightened people often without any visitors.
I used to go out and socialise(and if I say drinking)I don't mean I was rolling home drunk. On my town and probably many others, most places where you can meet are pubs.
However, you do lose track of some people when you start working or others perhaps get into a relationship, marry, have children, perhaps they move away and of course have to work.
So no I cannot say that I was not encouraged to mix or socialise with others. So I don't like the criticism that suggests that my parents should have encouraged me to go out more or are to blame for the situation I am in.
These days many households(probably because of economic reasons)have only one or two children(or as they would put it officially)2.4 children. So that's suggests that parents do think long and hard as to whether they can afford to have children.
Unfortunately, these days most households need both parents to be working to afford to have enough income to run a home especially if the household has children. And though Governments keep saying that they want to encourage family values, their policies force parents "Out to work" And many employers are less than good at looking after their employees emotional needs(forgetting that a happy worker will give more to their employer)even if they dislike the job they will probably take into account how understanding they are in other ways. This could be sometimes allowing that a parent is needed to go home because the child has had an accident or is ill. I don't really care whether its Mum or Dad as long as it is one or the other. They may be depressed, lose a loved one, have cancer etc...
Cherie Blair, he wife of the ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair has apparently given a speech saying how she dislikes women who give up their careers for their family and to some extent also takes it further suggesting that its not good for the children either.
Well, if that life choice doesn't fit in with her views, fine...after all she really has what can be called an exceptional professional career and on the kind of money she can command(and I am sure she works very hard)I am sure they can afford(or could)as I think most of the children are now grown up, child care and not have to worry about the cost unlike many of the population.
I am happy that I am not starting out in school now and that a lot of the ideas about bringing up children were not in force when I was growing up. I don't like a lot of what I see and I think we may be storing up problems for later.
At the end of the day it's up to each parent(or should be)to do what they want to do and if they put their children first and decide a career comes second so be it. If they are fortunate to find that they have enough income not to need to work or claim benefits who is it hurting? I suspect the households that will be affected or penalised are really those on a low income or on benefits.
The truth is probably very few are in such a position where they have a choice.
I am also a little tired of reading when some people have a go about "You shouldn't have children if you can't afford them!" In this day and age if that rule was followed how many could ever have children? And that has always the case. Especially when families were large because there was no birth control or on religious grounds. Children are always going cost a lot of money to feed, clothe etc..they need a lot of investment. Today that also includes education, in the hope you'll get a well paid job.
Then again, many people do budget for children and when they have them the household income may be fine but who can especially in these austere times guess whether the situation may change because a member of the household loses a job or becomes ill, a partner dies, divorce...there are so many reasons where things can go wrong(none of these are taken lightly)but if you always thought that way, you'd never have children.
Now I hear some say if things had been as they are now "I would not have brought a child into the world" Some I would never have thought would say such a thing. I'm not sure if I would have brought a child into the world these days myself.
And yet if we don't, who is going to work, doing the jobs of the future and if we keep the same economic model as we have today, pay into the system so it subsidises the pensions and care of an ever ageing population.
There are times when I see a pregnant woman and find myself thinking "That poor child has no idea what kind of a world it is being born into" and "Do you really want to bring it into this world"
Perhaps that sounds awful...but again it is personal choice and everyone has the right to do what they want to.
I think that is how I became who I am and why most of my childhood and adulthood was happy. Why I believe that I am well adjusted.
A couple of people who post comments on my blog have been critical, suggesting that I did not mix much, that my parents should have encouraged me to do more but I was always out playing with friends all Summer long. In the evenings when not at school, I went through a period where I socialised and met people. Another period we used to talk on CB radio but then met and we set up a CB club, a venue where everyone could get together so we were not just talking on the airwaves. I often went to the cinema and theatre. I did 15+ years of voluntary work working in hospital radio where the most time was spent on the wards often talking to lonely and frightened people often without any visitors.
I used to go out and socialise(and if I say drinking)I don't mean I was rolling home drunk. On my town and probably many others, most places where you can meet are pubs.
However, you do lose track of some people when you start working or others perhaps get into a relationship, marry, have children, perhaps they move away and of course have to work.
So no I cannot say that I was not encouraged to mix or socialise with others. So I don't like the criticism that suggests that my parents should have encouraged me to go out more or are to blame for the situation I am in.
These days many households(probably because of economic reasons)have only one or two children(or as they would put it officially)2.4 children. So that's suggests that parents do think long and hard as to whether they can afford to have children.
Unfortunately, these days most households need both parents to be working to afford to have enough income to run a home especially if the household has children. And though Governments keep saying that they want to encourage family values, their policies force parents "Out to work" And many employers are less than good at looking after their employees emotional needs(forgetting that a happy worker will give more to their employer)even if they dislike the job they will probably take into account how understanding they are in other ways. This could be sometimes allowing that a parent is needed to go home because the child has had an accident or is ill. I don't really care whether its Mum or Dad as long as it is one or the other. They may be depressed, lose a loved one, have cancer etc...
Cherie Blair, he wife of the ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair has apparently given a speech saying how she dislikes women who give up their careers for their family and to some extent also takes it further suggesting that its not good for the children either.
Well, if that life choice doesn't fit in with her views, fine...after all she really has what can be called an exceptional professional career and on the kind of money she can command(and I am sure she works very hard)I am sure they can afford(or could)as I think most of the children are now grown up, child care and not have to worry about the cost unlike many of the population.
I am happy that I am not starting out in school now and that a lot of the ideas about bringing up children were not in force when I was growing up. I don't like a lot of what I see and I think we may be storing up problems for later.
At the end of the day it's up to each parent(or should be)to do what they want to do and if they put their children first and decide a career comes second so be it. If they are fortunate to find that they have enough income not to need to work or claim benefits who is it hurting? I suspect the households that will be affected or penalised are really those on a low income or on benefits.
The truth is probably very few are in such a position where they have a choice.
I am also a little tired of reading when some people have a go about "You shouldn't have children if you can't afford them!" In this day and age if that rule was followed how many could ever have children? And that has always the case. Especially when families were large because there was no birth control or on religious grounds. Children are always going cost a lot of money to feed, clothe etc..they need a lot of investment. Today that also includes education, in the hope you'll get a well paid job.
Then again, many people do budget for children and when they have them the household income may be fine but who can especially in these austere times guess whether the situation may change because a member of the household loses a job or becomes ill, a partner dies, divorce...there are so many reasons where things can go wrong(none of these are taken lightly)but if you always thought that way, you'd never have children.
Now I hear some say if things had been as they are now "I would not have brought a child into the world" Some I would never have thought would say such a thing. I'm not sure if I would have brought a child into the world these days myself.
And yet if we don't, who is going to work, doing the jobs of the future and if we keep the same economic model as we have today, pay into the system so it subsidises the pensions and care of an ever ageing population.
There are times when I see a pregnant woman and find myself thinking "That poor child has no idea what kind of a world it is being born into" and "Do you really want to bring it into this world"
Perhaps that sounds awful...but again it is personal choice and everyone has the right to do what they want to.
Cherie Blair Attacks The Yummy Mummies...
The following link is interesting to see the comments left by posters, best part of them whether in work or out of work do not agree or support her views. The only sad thing is that many are very personal and some good points are depreciated because of personal attacks, often that have nothing to do with what she actually said.
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 7:06 am
2 Comments:
Brilliant post Gildy.
I would imagine there are plenty of women who dislike Cherie Blair and her views.
I thought the Blairs had gone away....but no such luck!
I have a horrible feeling they are back in the media, well it's been building up for a couple of months now.....ugh.
Hides like rhinocereses (sp)!
It was rather a long post but once I started, I could not stop. Thank you for sticking with it.
The fear is that though it should by every parents right to do what they want to do, the policies many governments introduce force people to do something they don't want to.
Many families are run by single parents(I mentioned in my post how circumstances can change)often not in our control and many single parents do a damn good job raising children but often many obsticles are put in the way and often the media will suggest that they are all lazy.
Just as they stereotype people who are ill or unemployed without really knowing that person's circumstances, there are a lot of assumptions made.
And before anyone gets chance to comment, I know that there will always be some that "Work the system" "Are scroungers" But most are found out and the actual figures of dishonest or those getting what they should not be is very low.
Even Government statistics(rarely mentioned)shows that. The question that should be being asked is why they keep that quiet.
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