The Mail Has Arrived...
Firstly...The TV License and sadly It's my name on it and not Mum's.
Then, a letter from BT saying they are sorry that I am leaving and letting me know that once I've gone, my isp company has to deal with all problems but they hope I'll return in the future(Its funny in that if I am correct BT owns the ISP that I have joined)
And then a letter that gets to you and brings it home about the loss of my dear Mum. From the crematorium...telling me all the different ways I can remember Mum and Mum is worth a fitting tribute though not having transport of my own, I'll have very little chance to visit her whatever I decide to do.
As far as I know its not on a bus route. And it will cost a far bit to go by taxi...Again Mum's worth it but if the budget is tight and you have no one to ask the favour taking you...
A mention in the Book of Remembrance alone is going to cost between £361-£500 depending on how much is written. And naturally if I decide to have a plaque, a bench or perhaps an individual rose bush accompanied by a kind of little marker with Mum's name on(or have a marker next to a bed of roses)it will again no doubt cost a fair amount. I haven't much money and if its going to take time for Mum's estate to be sorted, I wonder how long will be allowed?
And it seems awful paying for Mum's tribute out of her money even if the money becomes mine.
Also would I be allowed to use that money for such a reason if they are watching to see that I don't deliberately give it away or buy big items so I can once again have help from the state. It may be seen as not an essential use of the money...
It's made me feel a little down receiving that information.
I'll put it aside today and read it again over the weekend or start of the week.
I can remember(I think it was Mum)saying to my Father or me(possibly both)she wanted to be cremated because she couldn't bare the thought of us never being away from the graveside. Although I know for many it does give comfort and some closure. And some sit nearby and contemplate or talk to a loved one who has passed away.
I know we had my Father mentioned in a Book of Remembrance but we were never asked to attend a scattering of his ashes nor was it ever mentioned about any kind of plaque or rosebush or whatever to mark his passing. I know nearly 30 years have passed but I may see if I can have a belated tribute done for my dad even if it costs a fair bit(and I can get the money together)
A bench is tempting for both Mum and Dad(in two different crems)but I think money will mean a plaque or the rose bush idea...
I always remember how touched I was by some benches on the cliffs at Bournemouth where someone was mentioned and then something was said on the lines of how the view from where the bench was situated meant so much to the named person and it was hoped those using the bench would get as much pleasure...
Then, a letter from BT saying they are sorry that I am leaving and letting me know that once I've gone, my isp company has to deal with all problems but they hope I'll return in the future(Its funny in that if I am correct BT owns the ISP that I have joined)
And then a letter that gets to you and brings it home about the loss of my dear Mum. From the crematorium...telling me all the different ways I can remember Mum and Mum is worth a fitting tribute though not having transport of my own, I'll have very little chance to visit her whatever I decide to do.
As far as I know its not on a bus route. And it will cost a far bit to go by taxi...Again Mum's worth it but if the budget is tight and you have no one to ask the favour taking you...
A mention in the Book of Remembrance alone is going to cost between £361-£500 depending on how much is written. And naturally if I decide to have a plaque, a bench or perhaps an individual rose bush accompanied by a kind of little marker with Mum's name on(or have a marker next to a bed of roses)it will again no doubt cost a fair amount. I haven't much money and if its going to take time for Mum's estate to be sorted, I wonder how long will be allowed?
And it seems awful paying for Mum's tribute out of her money even if the money becomes mine.
Also would I be allowed to use that money for such a reason if they are watching to see that I don't deliberately give it away or buy big items so I can once again have help from the state. It may be seen as not an essential use of the money...
It's made me feel a little down receiving that information.
I'll put it aside today and read it again over the weekend or start of the week.
I can remember(I think it was Mum)saying to my Father or me(possibly both)she wanted to be cremated because she couldn't bare the thought of us never being away from the graveside. Although I know for many it does give comfort and some closure. And some sit nearby and contemplate or talk to a loved one who has passed away.
I know we had my Father mentioned in a Book of Remembrance but we were never asked to attend a scattering of his ashes nor was it ever mentioned about any kind of plaque or rosebush or whatever to mark his passing. I know nearly 30 years have passed but I may see if I can have a belated tribute done for my dad even if it costs a fair bit(and I can get the money together)
A bench is tempting for both Mum and Dad(in two different crems)but I think money will mean a plaque or the rose bush idea...
I always remember how touched I was by some benches on the cliffs at Bournemouth where someone was mentioned and then something was said on the lines of how the view from where the bench was situated meant so much to the named person and it was hoped those using the bench would get as much pleasure...
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 12:29 pm
8 Comments:
I think they charge far too much at crematoriums. There are other ways of remembering without paying their prices. A rose bush in a pot or in the garden........or a favourite plant.
That's a thought but as someone said on another post "What if you move" when I said about leaving some of Mum's ashes in what was Mum's/our garden and should I share the ashes between the crem and here or somewhere mum loved.
There were many places I am sure but they are quite some distances away.
Its even tempting to go all the way to Bournemouth where my parents and myself had so many happy times for something like 50 years but would that feel as though she was so far away from me?
How about a special plant in a pot in the garden? Then you could take it with you if you move later.
In any case, Gildy, your parents will always be in your heart.
It's years since I was able to visit my husband's grave (I just can't walk far enough now) but I certainly haven't forgotten him.
Many of these schemes are just money spinners preying on bereaved people.
£361-£500 sounds extortionate to me.
What's gone wrong with this website it has suddenly, today, taken an inordinately long time to load each time. Perhaps it it something to do with my ISP, I don't know.
All other frequently visited websites are unproblematical.
Nick
I think that was what I said in the first post, and I didn't mention the ashes because I didn't think that was a good idea., but if you want to misconstrue my comments..........
The blog seems to have sorted itself out so hopefully you can all read and post as usual...
I was replying to VQ about my suggestion regarding planting a rose in a pot.
You responded by saying something about what if I move.......and something about Mum's ashes.
I was really trying to be helpful, because you could take a pot with a rose or plant with you if you move.
If you check, you will see that I was following VQ's comment, but Nick posted before me while I was typing.
At last I can leave a comment, I don't know what's going on...I was not ignoring you anon...
I cannot see a problem with your suggestion and am unaware that I have been critical.
I guess there are a few options...
Mum's ashes remain at the crem.
They are split between here and there(I don't think I want them in an urn indoors.
I plant something here, there or both.
If here its permanent or can be moved elsewhere(assuming there is a garden or access to some outdoor space)
I will have to make a decision quite soon I suspect but I hope I will be allowed a little time. I did hear some time ago(on a radio programme I think)that they can allow quite a long time.
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