If Anyone Is Reading This...
Apologies...
I can't even get my blog to load as it should and it keeps telling me there is an error so I cannot even reply to comments left in the usual way. I hope it's an error at their end...I hope that they get it fixed.
I did not anon having a go saying that I had misunderstood what had been said about bringing ashes home and it not been a good idea. I don't think that I have and I thought that you may have a valid point after all even I and the funeral director himself isn't to keen on having ashes in a home.
In the end of the day you may be thinking wondering where a loved one is and its hard to accept that one day you can hold a hand, kiss, cuddle, talk and share things but suddenly there is no physical presence. That would be true if buried eventually.
Just as what made Mum special(her soul)and who she was, it was no longer there when she passed away and those ashes no longer represent Mum. It is just a bit of closure and a mark of respect, love and affection to someone dear to me.
I can't even get my blog to load as it should and it keeps telling me there is an error so I cannot even reply to comments left in the usual way. I hope it's an error at their end...I hope that they get it fixed.
I did not anon having a go saying that I had misunderstood what had been said about bringing ashes home and it not been a good idea. I don't think that I have and I thought that you may have a valid point after all even I and the funeral director himself isn't to keen on having ashes in a home.
In the end of the day you may be thinking wondering where a loved one is and its hard to accept that one day you can hold a hand, kiss, cuddle, talk and share things but suddenly there is no physical presence. That would be true if buried eventually.
Just as what made Mum special(her soul)and who she was, it was no longer there when she passed away and those ashes no longer represent Mum. It is just a bit of closure and a mark of respect, love and affection to someone dear to me.
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 7:06 pm
6 Comments:
I'm reading it, Gildy.
Hope the gremlins have disappeared now.
Its still been playing up, even up to a few minutes ago. On my pc the blog appears without text and then maybe 20-30 seconds(sometimes longer)it appears.
Earlier nothing did showed at all.
It must be a fault at their end because I've done nothing different.
How are you today VQ? I noticed that you mentioned it was the anniversary of losing your dear husband.
I did not mean to not acknowledge something that means a lot to you(sending a virtual hug to you)
WE miss our loved one's not being part of our lives whilst heading towards a similar fate ourselves...Oh that sounds so depressing.
Sadly, we feel the pain because we are still here but if things were different, our loved one's would be mourning the loss of us.
Ohh I'm fine thanks Gildy.
It doesn't hurt any more.
Now that my mobility isn't at all good, I sometimes think that my husband would have hated getting old. He was always so fit. He died at 55.
We all have to go at some time. That's for sure!
I loved my Father dearly and I was as close to him as Mum. But I think there is something special about your connection to your Mum if you are fortunate to have such a close bond.
I cannot decide if I accepted his passing because Mum and myself supported each other or time has made the difference.
In the end it no longer hurt(though I'd have loved to have him as part of our lives)
He missed sharing so much in the last 28 years, he'd have loved the internet. Of course along with the good stuff there has been some pretty nasty things we've lived through that he might've found hard to accept.
He never lost his sense of wonder. The beauty he could see in nature and the most simplest of things.
Mum, though she did not use a computer, knew their worth and was interested if I told her something. She was very switched on. She was young at heart.
We did not talk of him all the time and if we did, it no longer hurt.
Will it take as long to feel that way about Mum? And accept it?
We could say "Dad liked that!" Or "Dad would've liked that!" and feel ok.
Mum was going to watch the celebrations for the Queen and would've enjoyed Cliff Richard's contribution to the Concert in June.
She liked Russell Watson...well there was so much that she enjoyed. The list would be so long...
I don't know how I'd take being told I had only so long to live. I'd like to go quick or peacefully in my sleep but how many of us do?
If mobility or medical problems increase I don't relish the thought of needing to be cared for or going into a nursing home.
The other day they said on the radio that most of us will get dementia(what a thought)
and one in three cancer and/or Alzheimer's Disease. So much to look forward to.
I wonder if I do know when my ebnd is nigh I'll go peacefully or go out kicking and screaming because I don't want to go.
By then I may be ready and won't be bothered.
Oh how morbid...I'm not depressed...honest.
These all natural feelings but as Mum and Dad used to say when you are in a normal frame of mind you are able to let them go and they don't stay in the forefront of your thoughts, something else takes their place and you are able to push them away.
Well, I've told my relatives that I don't want to be buried and I don't want to be burnt.
So I'm just not going!! :-)
Quite right VQ! ;-)
Why do I not see the typing errors before I post my comments, I do proof read.
I said about Mum being switched on, Mum had on her mp3 player Paul McCartney's latest album, the same of Johnny Mathis and if I'd had Mum back home I'd have been adding and moving on her player.
There has been a big discussion(again)as to whether benefit is there to get people through difficult times and give very basic support(on the net)because there has been some kind of charity event with people feeding themselves on £1 per day.
Its a bit pointless as it doesn't allow for the cost of gas, electric or rent.
And people have been saying give up the TV, well you can but you need something to keep you entertained when you go home.
I think I'd still let the TV go first and use the radio. But the one thing I'd hate to lose is the computer and/or access to the net.
Even if there is limited access in a library...In my case the money it costs to get to a library for a session could pay for almost a week's access at home 24/7.
It keeps you connected to the world and if working or looking for work its the way that you find out about jobs available these days, you are informed but can also access radio and tv by being online.
I am tired of people who have a go at those on benefits by saying about the flat screen tv's they have and other things.
Many of these items could have been purchased before they hit hard times and purchased with the intention that they have to last for years.
At some point if you are replacing old for new, they will seem new.
As said by myself my tv in the lounge is almost 30 years old. This one on the pc is around 5 years old probably more.
Both are getting ready to stop working and its not worth having them repaired.
The person who tried to give me a deal on my gas/electric said the new tv's will probably use less energy so there's another reason for having one.
My pc's are second hand.
I think the furniture in the lounge could be at least 30 years old.
Some people are really just nasty until it happens to them. Or they believe what they hear in the media which is often slanted one way.
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