It Was The Cancer What Got Her!
What a horrible way to put it but around 10am I received a call from the Coroner's Office, the Post Mortem had already been completed and I asked a question that could not be answered which could have me wondering if anything could've been done but basically the cancer had spread and if I understand what I was told it had caused complications resulting in a kind of Pneumonia and another technical term was used which means secondary cancer so I doubt I or anyone else could've done anything in the end. I have to accept that to get some kind of closure.
I guess Mum's poor little body just could not fight it anymore and she had to give up.
My friend who was in the home who I helped with his computer so he could talk to his wife came out of the home today and he has enough to contend with with his own wife's illness and his own health problems.
But the first thing he did was contact me when he got home.
He tells me that since Mum passed away another three have and again the police have been in again...and he's not too happy about how often they seem to be being called in. I must admit that bothered me.
He did not like/understand why my Mum had to go through a post mortem and for the simple reason of not being seen by a Dr since January 17Th(as we all keep saying Mum was seen in a hospital in March, was under the Nursing Home's care(They could've called a Dr in)Perhaps I should've but I must not beat myself up on that.
And we assume because the hospital was paying for the care the home was following a plan put in place by the hospital.
But was is done is done...
Mum is not suffering and is at peace...
I guess Mum's poor little body just could not fight it anymore and she had to give up.
My friend who was in the home who I helped with his computer so he could talk to his wife came out of the home today and he has enough to contend with with his own wife's illness and his own health problems.
But the first thing he did was contact me when he got home.
He tells me that since Mum passed away another three have and again the police have been in again...and he's not too happy about how often they seem to be being called in. I must admit that bothered me.
He did not like/understand why my Mum had to go through a post mortem and for the simple reason of not being seen by a Dr since January 17Th(as we all keep saying Mum was seen in a hospital in March, was under the Nursing Home's care(They could've called a Dr in)Perhaps I should've but I must not beat myself up on that.
And we assume because the hospital was paying for the care the home was following a plan put in place by the hospital.
But was is done is done...
Mum is not suffering and is at peace...
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 10:26 am
3 Comments:
At least that ordeal is out of the way Anthony.
I hope you can take something positive out of the post-mortem, namely that you couldn't have done any more than you did.
We all tend to reproach ourselves after a death, especially those like you who have no reason to. We tend to go into a fantasy that we could have had more time with them if only we'd done such-and-such, ... but as you say, your Mum's body just couldn't take it any more. We just have to live with their no longer being there, and our own powerlessness.
Take care of yourself, G.
Thanks Carol and Nicodemus...
I was just about to sign the Death Certificate at the registrar's and a cousin sent a text that put doubts in my mind about the care and what the Coroner had said was the cause.
So...I am going back on Monday to do it.
I had a longer chat with the Coroner's office. It had spread, they honestly believe that was the cause and that Pneumonia goes along side cancer(the only thing you might argue is that perhaps she spent too much time in bed)but even the coroner says at best it would mean more suffering and prolonging the inevitable.
And they have no doubts.
They say that Mum was not dehydrated nor was it a case of a lack of nourishment.
That in the end no matter how much nourishment you managed to get into Mum it would not have made any difference.
Here's a coincidence...My parents married in 1948(My Father passed away in 1984)the numbers reversed.
I have found out that they married on March 20th...Mum went into the Nursing Home on the same date this year.
I found out from the Coroner's Office tonight that Mum was on a Pathway to Death plan when released from the hospital so although I thought there was a chance she might get home or have a little longer and stood a chance of improvement it wasn't to be and it was her cancer specialist who had arranged the care plan and move to the home.
To some extent as a friend said to me in some ways I have been kept in the dark about many things and not kept informed.
Doesn't change things...I hope once again I can accept things and stop questioning/beating myself up.
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