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Perhaps you'll learn more about me as you read my blog. For anyone who translates my blog using the translator facility, don't forget if you wish to read the comments in your own language to click on the title of the post down the left hand side otherwise they will remain in english. Also I assume that the translation is accurate but I don't know, so please allow for errors.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Our Home Will Never Feature...

In one of those fancy magazines but...it is home because it is lived in and there is love in it. That is what matters most.

Its not a palace and probably could do with some more decorating and I have said before the replacement of some carpets but the inconvenience of moving things around or out of a room(especially in our situation)we can do without and not knowing what happens if/when I lose Mum about staying here with changes in welfare help, I don't want to spend money on things I have to leave behind for others who may/may not keep my choice of perhaps carpets etc...

But it is clean, vacuumed and dusted especially in the rooms most used. We don't entertain(not through choice)but friends and family have either moved or passed away)and it really is just Mum and myself!

I suspect because of the Social Worker's appearance and manner she probably(and I am being judgemental here)has a house where nothing is out of place. Even the carer commentated on how she dressed and came across in general.

And I have a feeling that our carer has been "Got" at by a slight change in her manner.

7 Comments:

Blogger Span Ows said...

Home is where the heart is...to coin a phrase.

You judgemental Gildy...never! ;-)

I am glad you keep a tidy house etc, there is no excuse for grime, dirtiness and unnecessary mess..

2 February 2012 at 09:52  
Blogger The Great Gildersleeve said...

Span, I was about to add to my entry that another thing that rankles is that the Social Worker has hinted that "Men" aren't bothered about housework so we might let it go a bit!

Most men may not be "prissy" but whatever sex you most will have a home that is to a reasonable standard(of course there are exceptions)there always will be and the media sometimes run series on the worst examples so we all say "Unbelieveable" and some will need help to sort out their lives and I can understand it on those situations...

Now,if on the other hand I leave a coffe cup stain on a windowsill and do not clear it away immediately, I don't see that as important...what is important is Mum's care and that she is comfortable.

So to me that is priority.

Also I wish they'd stop making assumptions...

I can tell Mum "Don't touch that!"
If she has perhaps a dirty hand but if she still does I will clean it away but I did not cause it and I did try to stop it happening but if you happen to call at that minute...

They say don't be paranoid and don't worry but they do all they can to make you that way.

If others kept their home as I do they'd have little to worry about...(Mind if they saw my own bedroom they may not be happy with the way I have all my cd's and books piled up):-)

They'd probably say everything is ready to fall over but I know where everything is and...so far nothing has come crashing down.

A neighbour was telling me that Health and Safety has made his company put up cupboards and put everything into them even though they have has shelves for years and everything has been safe all those years.

So I guess we are being judged by H&S sandards...

2 February 2012 at 10:56  
Anonymous VQ said...

The attitude displayed by 'them' is almost unbelievable.
I'm wondering if there isn't a bit more to it.
To be blunt, do you think they are saying (without actually saying it) that it might be unseemly for a son to attend so intimately to his mother?
Well, in normal, everyday life, that may be so. But this poor lady is ill and needs all the loving attention that she can get. And it seems to me that she is getting it. If she were in a 'home' she wouldn't be getting a fraction of the help she is getting in her own home.
I just can't explain this official attitude in any other way. It seems ludicrous.

2 February 2012 at 11:10  
Blogger The Great Gildersleeve said...

Yes, that thought has crossed both our minds VQ and I have been blunt and said something about that directly to them and it has always been denied(officially/verbally)But what is actually written in their files?

It was said some time ago when the Social Worker became involved(not before)that "Women are different to men" Really?

Mum's getting a bit tired of being told that when she was well, she behaved in a different way to how she does now...so they have her as being houseproud(yes)but she was no more then as compared to now. But they keep saying that because of the situation she won't realise things have changed and they judge her by other people or households they visit.

It is wrong to do so(how do they know what's happening in the hosues they have no access to.

As Anon said commenting on another post, we are hopefully all different and once we all become the same...we may as well give up as the Human Race.

I paraphrase of course.

2 February 2012 at 17:22  
Blogger The Great Gildersleeve said...

Even the carer annoyed me a little today...I do my housework and set myself some tasks to do regularly so today she found I had washed the blinds, the window, windowsill and curtains in Mum's bedroom and she commented how good it all looked but then kind of hinted it was because she'd had a chat with me the other day and suggested ways to get the authorities off my back...no, I would do such work anyhow without being told and do...

Anyhow in the book she has recorded that I did this work(and basically said it was because of her chat)

I can't be bothered to kick up a fuss over it and well, if it does as she suggests stop some of our problems, it will be welcome.

But no it was all my own work and idea and I am not quite ill enough yet to need someone to come in and do my housework. If you are on top things and continue to be so it doesn't take much to do.

2 February 2012 at 17:28  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Perhaps they feel your carer should try & stay neutral & not sympathise with you if you tell her you're unhappy with the social worker etc.

If you have been telling the health professionals that your carer agrees with your views, perhaps it would be better not to, it could put her in a difficult position.

Also , perhaps they don't think you should wash up your coffee & tea mugs in the same basin that you wash your hands & face. Is the toilet in a different room ?

2 February 2012 at 17:56  
Blogger The Great Gildersleeve said...

Yes, they are two seperate rooms and if you have washing up liquid and various cleaners that are used to clean the bathroom/sink how much cleaner can you be? Our water is very, very hot too.

Oh and I also have access to a washing up bowl...

I've never told the health professionals about the carer. She does stay reasonably neutral but has seen it for herself and initially she was being treated like us.

The only error she made was when the Dr and District Nurse was present the DN said something that she disagreed with as it sounded as though it was a criticism of her so she made a stand and...in error said in front of us that a meeting was taking place between the Social Worker and herself.

Until then I doubt anyone knew that we were sharing any thoughts.

I've always been careful about betraying anyone's confidence.

And because I was not supposed to know some of what was happening it was me who often had to keep quiet because otherwise how would I know what was going on without taking things further by asking for a Freedom of Information Act or going down the advocacy route.

(sorry if you received this comment many times due to me correcting errors)

2 February 2012 at 23:57  

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