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Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Nothing To Be Concerned Over...

For Now...

The District Nurse called and did what she does and was more approachable than usual.

She seemed happy with Mum but it is heart breaking when say talking about Mum eating she says things "Let her eat whatever she wants at this stage" more or less saying its just a matter of time...hasn't it always been so, with or without cancer or dementia hanging over you but this just speeds things along I suppose.

In our favour at present we have not been presented with a time limit or been told that they can at least control it as my own condition has been over the years. That's not the word I am looking for but my mind has gone blank...

The Social Worker cried off and called me to apologise and asked if she could call tomorrow afternoon? Oh and "I have a student district nurse with me, is it ok if she comes along and visits your Mum, I'm trying to show her what she is likely to see in her work when she qualifies" I could say no but it was unlikely that I would.

That's why she did not come today, why not just admit it. There is always that element of not being totally honest. Even when it is a situation that doesn't really do any harm.

5 Comments:

Anonymous VQ said...

None of us knows when our time will be up. Any one of us could go tonight (but I hope we don't!)
If 'they' had an idea how long your mum has left, would you want to know?
I would suggest just doing your best to make the most of each day as it comes.
And it sounds as if you already do that, Gildy.

7 February 2012 at 17:53  
Blogger The Great Gildersleeve said...

Spot on VQ...

I've just heard of a lady passing at 110(two weeks off reaching 111)

Now even I might say I would not really fancy that!

Especially, if in a home and all my friends and family have gone before.

Best to try and enjoy each day even if they are not much different to the next.

I remembered the word I was searching for..."stablised"

7 February 2012 at 19:42  
Blogger The Great Gildersleeve said...

No, I wouldn't really like to be told "How Long"

And I think that Mum is doing pretty good all things considered.

7 February 2012 at 19:58  
Blogger The Great Gildersleeve said...

You could say they have to be and should pick up things to avoid problems but when she did visit, I had left a sticky note laid out with a shopping list on it. She even read that!

I said "It's only a shopping list!" but added I could care less if you look("What have I to hide?)and she admitted it was her being nosey.

Its probably better to say as little as possible to such officials being more open seems to cause you more problems than help.

And even if you are reasonably open to ideas, if you say "no" to some things because they want you to fit their criteria they keep going on and on.

Mum is content and happy in the situation as best as we can...we both are.

But Mum finds that if there is company calling, she was to go out or go downstairs she will dress accordingly(she may if upstairs to)but it cuts down on washing and makes changing easier sometimes not be wearing a skirt as such.

Even a nightdress can get in the way so she weras something easier to remove or avoid becoming soiled.

Because they insist they have their way they create more work rather than less.

Mum's dignity is never at risk.

Thanks to them, the washer and drier was going for hours where as lately I have actually managed to cut the time I spend doing these tasks by 95%(and that also means the enegery bill should be reduced to)

When she called Mum had just recently had a warm bath and had a late breakfast so was relaxed and a liitle tired.

Even the carer had said something on the lines Mum could have/should have a nap.

No doubt the SW would see things differently.

In general, I say if the client is coming to no harm, is seriously ill and elderly/vulnerable in general leave them alone and allow them to do what they wish.

Don't hassle un-necessarily.

9 February 2012 at 05:47  
Blogger The Great Gildersleeve said...

They do have you paranoid. I mean I had some new night dresses(anyhow)but they insisted we get some...

Now one needed to be washed, one was being washed and Mum spilt some coffee on the one she was wearing just before the SW arrived so I had to decide whether to go back to a short top or let her see Mum in a nightdress to "Please her!" but with new stains on it that had just happened. So I was there rubbing away with a damp cloth.

Which worked! It just gets silly.

As I have said before no one could be kept clean as much as here. Not probably in a hospital.

9 February 2012 at 05:52  

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