What Do You Do If You Feel That You Are Being Harrassed By A Dr?
To cut the story short the District Nurse that we have had problems with brought a Dr with her last week to see Mum.
We'd had reasonably positive news from the specialists that are treating Mum(considering where we find ourselves)and if Mum only has a little time remaining(and we have not been told everything)but opinion suggests if that was so, specialists are pretty blunt and wouldn't hide bad news but Mum is happy, content, warm, eating and drinking and in many ways has improved. The fact Mum is being called back for a consulatation in two months time and may be offered further treatment and they say the problem should remain localised and will be controlled, is good by our standards.
Mum was offered a very mild bottle of medicine that has morphine in it, if needed should her own painkillers not work...I thank him for that but so far Mum has not needed it.
The Dr wants to put Mum into a cottage hospital(he says temporarily but neither Mum or myself wants her to go)I have not influenced her decision.
He suggested Mum was dehydrated when he called(Funny that the hospital last week did not suggest that)and the latest bloods were fine, she drinks loads in a twenty four hour period and the simple test of pinching the skin and seeing how quickly it returns to its orginal place shows that she is not lacking in moisture, Mum is putting on weight again and her motions are normal etc...if you are lacking in moisture they are affected. On the day he called Mum's temperature and blood pressure was perfect and the day before whilst at hospital we heard the results of mum's last three blood tests and they were very good.
I understood today that the DM would call as usual and do the usual quick check of Mum's tumour and disappear, I had no idea he was going to call as well at the same time. He'll claim its for Mum's good but he's stressing Mum out especially and if we need any help I'd rather see our own family Dr when he returns at the start of the next month. He knows us. This Dr does not! Once you lose trust in someone, it takes a lot to gain it again. This Dr never will.
We'd had reasonably positive news from the specialists that are treating Mum(considering where we find ourselves)and if Mum only has a little time remaining(and we have not been told everything)but opinion suggests if that was so, specialists are pretty blunt and wouldn't hide bad news but Mum is happy, content, warm, eating and drinking and in many ways has improved. The fact Mum is being called back for a consulatation in two months time and may be offered further treatment and they say the problem should remain localised and will be controlled, is good by our standards.
Mum was offered a very mild bottle of medicine that has morphine in it, if needed should her own painkillers not work...I thank him for that but so far Mum has not needed it.
The Dr wants to put Mum into a cottage hospital(he says temporarily but neither Mum or myself wants her to go)I have not influenced her decision.
He suggested Mum was dehydrated when he called(Funny that the hospital last week did not suggest that)and the latest bloods were fine, she drinks loads in a twenty four hour period and the simple test of pinching the skin and seeing how quickly it returns to its orginal place shows that she is not lacking in moisture, Mum is putting on weight again and her motions are normal etc...if you are lacking in moisture they are affected. On the day he called Mum's temperature and blood pressure was perfect and the day before whilst at hospital we heard the results of mum's last three blood tests and they were very good.
I understood today that the DM would call as usual and do the usual quick check of Mum's tumour and disappear, I had no idea he was going to call as well at the same time. He'll claim its for Mum's good but he's stressing Mum out especially and if we need any help I'd rather see our own family Dr when he returns at the start of the next month. He knows us. This Dr does not! Once you lose trust in someone, it takes a lot to gain it again. This Dr never will.
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 12:59 pm
4 Comments:
Co -operate with the doctor, & they're more likely to meet you half way & be less concerned about the way you look after your Mum as far as keeping her alert is concerned.Let your Mum be assessed mentally & physically. Give her a chance to have a change of enviroment, use her legs, have other people to talk to & have some activities to stimulate her mind. I don't think it's done her much good being virtually confined to her bedroom listening to music since she broke her hip ? 2 years ago. You may not mind living as you do, but I don't think it's doing her much good . Sorry to be blunt, but the whole situation with you both living in your bedrooms & cutting yourselves off from the world really does concern me.Has she got a TV in her room ?
We haven't cut ourselves off from the world. Mum does go downstairs and watch tv and eat meals there too.
She sits in the porch when the weather is warm enough and enjoys her garden.
It is warmer upstairs, all the things she needs is upstairs and she can look outside better from the bedroom window.
She hasn't been confined to her bedroom for two years its mainly happened since becoming seriously ill with her present conditions. And its Mum's choice.
In today's homes bedrooms have often taken the place of what used to be the lounge/living room and much more is done in them than just sleeping.
In years gone by unless you entertained in what I think was the drawing room(?)you did everything else in specific rooms.
If she is still with us when the year goes on hopefully she may be able to go out for some trips but remember with problems over bodily functions you have to think how easy it is to find suitable places for a possible need for a change.
Mum doesn't want to just look around shops and there isn't a great deal of places of interest around here.
The Dr was still wrong on most of what he said Mum was like and we prefer to go by what her specialists/consultants say.
Actually, things have moved on since this post was written and I have had some advice from the local carers association which gives me hope that "We" are correct and have rights.
The Social Worker is calling tomorrow and she would appear(but I'll hold my breath)to be more approachable and talking and seeing things "Our" way.
Our other problems may be sorted soon...for the better, I hope.
I'd love to tell you more but as I used to say you needed to be here and witness what the situation was like and I have a feeling you'd be feel as we do.
It sounds to me as if you do far more for your mum than would be done in any hospital. In my experience, they tend to throw pills at you when necessary and not much else. The days of 'nursing' patients seem to have gone.
Also, who wouldn't prefer to be in their own home?
If that's what you and your mum want, then stick to your guns, Gildy.
Thanks VQ,
We are so relaxed and laid back most of the time. The atmosphere is lovely. Little stress.
I know anon above feels that Mum is confined but she really loves listening to her music and all who visit know this.
Forgive me repeating something I have probably said elsewhere, that District Nurse changes her tune so often, she'll say Mum is spending a lot of time in bed(Not true)and then other times she'll say that's fine.
She mentions that she'd like Mum to go downstairs(the last time Mum did)she says but she's only sitting still in a chair.
A friend of Mum's says that she sits so long in her chair that when she rises you can see the dent of her bottom in the cushion.
She reads a book, watches TV or lsitens to the radio and does that all sitting down...
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