This Is Going To Be One Of The Most Difficult Days...
So Far!
Mum is panicking! And there is nothing that I can do. I can talk and try to offer reassurance. I can hold her hand, cuddle her...be there for her but she simply cannot rest. All she can focus on is Friday and what we suspect will be bad news.
She doesn't want to know...she does want to know.
She doesn't want to wait until Friday, she'd rather know now...
But its Sunday, in theory Dr's surgeries are closed, hospitals wind down over weekends. Its so difficult, I'm not sure anything I can do would be the right thing...
Mum is panicking! And there is nothing that I can do. I can talk and try to offer reassurance. I can hold her hand, cuddle her...be there for her but she simply cannot rest. All she can focus on is Friday and what we suspect will be bad news.
She doesn't want to know...she does want to know.
She doesn't want to wait until Friday, she'd rather know now...
But its Sunday, in theory Dr's surgeries are closed, hospitals wind down over weekends. Its so difficult, I'm not sure anything I can do would be the right thing...
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 9:17 am
5 Comments:
Do you think some of the problem might be that your Mum is worried about how you're going to cope emotionally and financially when she's not there any more. Could you have accidentally let slip something in conversations with her ?
Perhaps she'd cope better with whats to come if you assure her you'll be fine, even if you have your own doubts. It might put her mind at rest. If you're showing signs of anxiety, she might pick up on it. I know it's tough, but try and put a brave face on things for your Mum's sake.
No, I am behaving much as I always have but she's smart enough to know that if you have a carer coming in and a District Nurse...
She's been to hospital and she's probably overheard the Dr who initially examined her not looking or behaving positive.
And from an earlier post you'll know Chemo has been ruled out and they've only mentioned trying to take the bulk out of the growth.
Its not difficult for her to start to put two and two together.
And naturally she worried about the next appointment. Who wouldn't be...
Did the carer come yesterday Gildy ?
Yes, the carer came yesterday and will be here again tomorrow.
There are so many people going through difficult times and that even includes the carer's own family.
So many are hurting.
And anecdotally, though I have kept off the worries many in ill health have jumping through hoops to get what help they are entitled to, I have been reading more horror tales about how genuine people are told they are fit and fail their assesments and have to think where they will get money from(and includes whilst they appeal against a decision)and that includes people who are on Chemo and/radio therapy as an example.
If they win the appeal they even ask how you supported yourself whilst waiting the result.
That's a good question.
It's frightening.
Unfortunately, many in the population who have not had to use the system really think "If you are ill, you will be looked after" and you've nothing to fear from the forms you fill in, questions asked or the assessments you attend but too many know otherwise.
Also, believe me I am trying to accept that you grow from every experience in life and that you do become stronger or adapt to what comes your way. I have also gone through times rightly or wrongly where I have told myself to "Grow Up!
But you are who you are and we all deal or cope with things differently.
I've never been a person to condemn someone because they appear not as able or may be seen as weak by others.
I suppose that's why you have leaders and followers.
But I digress...
The panic has gone for now...I've been advised that I can contact the consultant's secretary before our appointment next week and try and get some pointers what may happen but I'm not sure if that might just scare us more...
This is personal...
Its great Mum's appetite is going so well but it does mean more cleaning is required and that in turn means making her uncomfortable to some extent as motions kind of get on the growth and it means having to try and get it off the damn thing.
Which as its like a kind of big raw kidney bean obviously can set off pain and it can bleed a little.
But again though sore it still doesn't bleed that much as one would think but good or bad news on Friday, I think it needs reducing so I suspect Mum will probably be taken in for an op quite soon whether they do it under local or general and whether its a stay in hospital for a day or two or a kind of out patients thing.
It is annoying that as far as I can say her motions seem normal and without this I suspect she could quite easily use a toilet etc...
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