Sometimes...You Find An Article That You Can Emphisise With...
And by chance this happened during the early hours of this morning. It was written three years ago...so isn't new. The person mentioned is appearing here in my town in a few weeks, it appears that she is on a circuit where she talks to people in a semi religious way at churches, this particular event includes some kind of meal but I don't plan to attend on this occasion. I am also a little surprised that the tickets are costing £10 in such difficult times.
However, in approx 60 days Mum will have have been passed away for a year, where has the time gone? We are not all fortunate to have a close family and have our loved ones throughout our lives and I hate to compare whether loss in early life is worse than later. No time is good. I'm not sure that I will ever accept being totally alone but just have to try and come to terms with it. It comes to us all in time.
I came across the following. So understanding. Comments show that many people feel in a similar way. Of course a few comments are negative and not everyone will feel the same but I think it is worth reading.
Mum's Empty Chair
However, in approx 60 days Mum will have have been passed away for a year, where has the time gone? We are not all fortunate to have a close family and have our loved ones throughout our lives and I hate to compare whether loss in early life is worse than later. No time is good. I'm not sure that I will ever accept being totally alone but just have to try and come to terms with it. It comes to us all in time.
I came across the following. So understanding. Comments show that many people feel in a similar way. Of course a few comments are negative and not everyone will feel the same but I think it is worth reading.
Mum's Empty Chair
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 3:27 pm
3 Comments:
Yes! That's so familiar, Gildy.
For me at Christmas (and Thanksgiving) what I miss most is cooking with Mom in her kitchen.
That kitchen was always full of us girls laughing and cooking. We still do that, and we can still feel her there watching over the pots. :o)
I knew the one year anniversary was close, Gildy. Isn't it amazing how one day at a time leads to a year? So strange.
Earlier this month it was eight years for me and I still miss her every single day. :o(
Jan
Thank you Jan,
I do still smile and I am finding that some things keep me for being down all the time and what's that going to do for me...
I'm glad I can still listen to the music Mum and myself shared and not get too upset and I do watch a little more TV than a did but radio is my main way of filling in the hours...
I don't remember being taught how to cook by Mum but must have picked up the skill and realised generally how easy it is and I don't how it happened but after my Father passed away I just to seemed find myself cooking for the two of us.
I enjoyed doing it and we shared the results. I am pretty quick at preparing any meal and can manage just about anything and though I have lots of websites stored and quite a few cook books, I don't really need them. I think we all stick to some tried and tested meals.
I think I once read we have a selection of approx 20 meals and just move the ingredients around. :o)
Where does the time go Jan?
But there is always that unexpected blip...Not really to do with the loss of Mum either...
I mean I know that many of us are not of the woods(Radio 5 ran a worrying report last night)about genuine women aged around 55+ in the States who lost their jobs/have been caring for aged parents etc...and now find themselves without a roof over their head.
The programme that was building affordable housing has had it's budget cut by 77% so these people are homeless or living in shelters/hostels(sounds familiar to the problems here TBH)
Now the good news is that I am supposedly to be let alone until approx 2015/2016 when the benefits change and everyone is reassessed but I have that bedroom tax to think about and...when Mum's small amount of savings clears my help stops but within weeks/months I will have to reapply and jump through the hoops again.
I should be entitled to help but as it is a new claim under new rules I cannot guarantee it will be given and...if someone else looks at the claim, they may have given it now but may not the next time.
So where I might have been safe until 2016, now I may not be...but what can you do?
In the meantime whilst things are reasonably ok...and I have been told they are and had letters to say that today, I received one that said the opposite so have been on the phone all day trying to sort that out.
Think it will be ok in the end.
Some good news I may be entitled to(but might've been entitled to it for over 10 years)a bus pass due to my mobility problems(so I get free/cheaper bus fares but the Government has hinted these could be withdrawn in future years but now, if I can get one I will have it.
Of course bus services are getting worse and services are being withdrawn anyhow so the passes are not what they once were.
And you only have a limited budget you still only have the same money to spend but you can go to other supermarkets and towns and see what they have on offer or have reduced and not be spending the money on bus fares so save money or put the saved bus fare towards more food.
But I'm not complaining...I'll take whatever I can get.
My boys are both excellent cooks. So is my husband. It's one of the reasons I married him! ;o) Though he doesn't cook much anymore. :o/
"Where does the time go?" Who knows. It's really amazing isn't it? When you first lose them you can't imagine getting through the next day let alone a year...or more...somehow you just do.
I know it's hard not to worry about things, Gildy. Especially, when your working without a net, so to speak. And reasonable concern is wise, I think. The trick is not to let worry run your life...and that can be a challenge. I've found when I get into non-productive worry I really have to conscientiously make myself think of or do other things. Sometimes it actually works! :o)
I wish I had all the answers my friend. Please know, I would bestow all my great wisdom in a heartbeat, if I did. :o/
Sadly, I think we are all in the same holding pattern. Best we can do is bolster one another up when it gets to big to carry alone.
You really are doing remarkably well, you know. Even if it doesn't feel like it some days. I think you're amazing! :o)
I do hope you can get your bus pass. I think that would help tremendously! It would certainly widen your scope of things to do. At least for a while, so good luck with that. :o) Wish we had that here. :oP
Jan
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