I Can't Help It...

Last night I felt reasonably happy and positive. I found myself not really thinking about anything. Not the past or the future. Just the here and now.

I found myself listening to the radio and paying attention. Then I watched some TV via the laptop which I have not been able to for approx a week. A diverse mixture if I say so myself(some of these will not mean much if you live outside the UK)

The last two episodes of Hebburn(a comedy/drama)to some extent full of stereotypical characters of how some from the North East of England are seen. Do they still exist or is it a kind of time warp based on how things used to be?

Then a food programme with Nigel Slater, a favourite cook of mine, he comes across as unpretentious and it has been said that he is a reluctant TV star and he took some persuading to become one. His recipes are simple. He uses mainly ingredients most of us have, not what might be seen as "Fancy"

Then it was time for a chat show with a reasonable line-up Michael Bublé(Canadian Singer)on tour in the UK but promoting his Christmas CD again, the same as the one I purchased last year but with four bonus tracks they said on TV. After looking closer the new CD has one extra track to my copy. I refuse to buy it again but can buy the track as a one off mp3 file if I want to part with my money. I hate the way some artists/companies sometimes release the same album and keep adding more tracks.

Also on the same sofa was Michael Palin(Monty Python cast member)but probably best known now for his  TV travel documentaries. Helena Bonham Carter(Actress)I think I am supposed to actor even though she is female but I think that political correctness is silly. And a comedian who seems to be a favourite on TV at present, Jack Whitehall.

Then I was off into the musical world for documentaries,  a film packed with startling memories, vivid images and penetrating insights into the power of pop and rock's first and most abiding artefact - the seven inch, vinyl 45 rpm record.

Then a programme to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the UK chart, a selection of hits that reached number 1, including the Bee Gees, T-Rex, Donna Summer, John Lennon, Culture Club and Adele.

Finally, a celebration of the 50th anniversary of the release of the Beatles' Love Me Do, and reflections of how they evolved into one of the most famous bands in the world.

Then it was time for some sleep.

But I have woke and found myself in a miserable frame of mind...missing Mum, thinking of my mortality, a little lonely and afraid about my financial future and whether I can survive on what I know will be a limited income...whether I will be ok after attending/if I have to attend that medical.

It's difficult for everyone, I was talking to a neighbour with a little boy, he was worried about me and wished me well, but he is struggling too, he is working and needs to claim help because he can only get 20 hours of work and his job is not safe.

Hence the title of this post.