Beware If You Take Part In A Forum Or...
Write a blog...
To some extent you need to be thick skinned...Oh it's ok to accept that others will disagree with you and who is ever going to do that and why should they but hopefully it will be done with respect, often it is not and can become more like a personal attack. That's sad...but the internet is a big beast and though it has a lot of good to offer the opposite is true.
I am not going to delete my blog but have a little break(we'll see how long that lasts)I could be back really quick. I'll regroup and return...even Stephen Fry takes a break from his Twitter Feed occasionally.
To some extent you need to be thick skinned...Oh it's ok to accept that others will disagree with you and who is ever going to do that and why should they but hopefully it will be done with respect, often it is not and can become more like a personal attack. That's sad...but the internet is a big beast and though it has a lot of good to offer the opposite is true.
I am not going to delete my blog but have a little break(we'll see how long that lasts)I could be back really quick. I'll regroup and return...even Stephen Fry takes a break from his Twitter Feed occasionally.
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 9:25 am
22 Comments:
That's a shame, I find your blog fascinating . You either talk about how poor you are (Was it 27 years ago that you walked out of your last job ) or you tell us what you've had for your last meal . It's all gripping stuff ( :
Now should I return? I have a feeling that your comment is taking the P***!
It would be so easy just to remove it but you know how fair I have been leaving all posts up, supportive or otherwise...
Your comment misses out so much of what has happened over the years including caring for a loved one, voluntary work and a condition that nearly did and still could see me on dialysis or needing a kidney transplant and reduced mobility.
That during the time frame I have held down a number of jobs and attended all the work programmes that I was expected to and I have fitted all the conditions I had to get anything I am entitled to and often had to fight to get them...
I hope I am wrong in how I have seen your comment and not alienated a genuine person but I am always looking for the good in people...
I may for now occasionally post some news stories that concern me and avoid making too many comments for the time being and keep the blog ticking over...
Hallo Gildersleeve
To be honest I would ignore such comments, very sad but unfortunately thats the internet.
I think it might be a good idea though for you to leave off your blog for a while, as you say. Its no-ones business but your own but there is a big world out there and life is passing. Understandable that you are worried about your future but so are most people to some degree.It doesnt stop them living their lives, making friends (in real life) and having fun. Alot of things cost little or no money. But you need to make the effort, if you dont it will get harder and harder as time goes on. Just little things at first!
Unfortunately you do get some stick from people who obviously buy into the idea that most people on benefits are scroungers. This is intensified because people who do work have to work very, very hard these days, sometimes for little money.
However they dont take into account the benefits of working and the good things it can bring to your life-satisfaction of a job well done, making friends and feeling valued. All this impacts on your life as a whole. I would encourage you to do some kind of work in the future, if only for these reasons.
Its prob not a good idea to measure all aspects of your life in monetary terms. You seem a genuine person - good luck !
Heather
Sorry , what voluntary work did you do ? and as far as I can recall, your last two blood test results were no worse, so don't you think all this talk of kidney dialysis is a bit premature ?
I also agree with a lot of that the above anon poster has said , you need to stop trawling the net finding gloom laden stories , & fretting about whether to wear one jumper or two ,or whether you can turn your oven on . For goodness sake get out there, make friends & enjoy your life, otherwise you might as well give up now !
Heather,
Thank you for giving me a name. I am biased but I think your comment is one of the fairest I have seen in a long time and I agree about taking a break from perhaps doing it.
Money has never been my main interest but with the changes coming many of us working and not working will be struggling and I have always tried to say I know others are hurting.
I have a feeling even if I have some positive things to post I'll be criticised so a no win situation...thanks again for your good wishes...
Anon,
I haven't said that I will not try and do things but they do cost money and if income is being reduced and the future is uncertain it is difficult.
You need some stability and security in your life. Things can change but you do need some something solid that you can depend on.
Perhaps as I am getting near to my visits to the theatre from next weekend I'll pop on and give reviews of them...at least I will get out for those. Next year such treats may not be affordable but for now...
Perhaps as I have said I will be criticised about that...we'll see...
" Money has never been my main interest but with the changes coming many of us working and not working will be struggling and I have always tried to say I know others are hurting."
You've been saying that for years !
" Perhaps as I am getting near to my visits to the theatre from next weekend I'll pop on and give reviews of them...at least I will get out for those. Next year such treats may not be affordable but for now..."
You always think the worst, for as long as I can remember your predictions for your future have been doomladened !
"You need some stability and security in your life. Things can change but you do need some something solid that you can depend on."
No one's got stability or security in their life nowadays. If we all thought like you, we'd never get out of bed in the morning & go to work , because we wouldn't think our future was stable or secure enough. Oh I've forgotten, you don't do that anyway ! You can't wait for the Govt to make your circumstances better, you've got to make your own chances. You seem to think it's your right to be housed, fed & kept warm by the tax payers in this country while you do nothing except moan on your blog about it & expect people to feel sorry for you..
Well said Anon, and how true.
I said yonks ago that your glass is always half empty! Why don't you count your blessings. You are still alive, you haven't been hard up lately because you've spent a huge amount of silly money on unnecessary things, and you have over £20,000 to look forward to. You have a roof over your head, and a stash of food.........and you are looked after very well by the NHS.
Are you deliberately spending your savings to enable you to get more help in the future, because that's how it looks from here.
I'll leave your comment up but what you have posted is wrong...
The NHS to some extent let down Mum and missed much of what was wrong. You know my views about the Social Worker and District Nurse that dealt with us.
I get tested and monitored which I will always be grateful for but lets see if they actually really look after me if/when I need my operation in the future and if my on going condition in the future results in needing dialysis/transplant etc...and my mobility and other things connected to my health changes.
Most of what I have cost very little and I have not spent "Silly" money in fact if what I have keeps me warm and saves me using the Gas CH, it's money well spent.
I have mentioned I hate standing charges and I know I am not alone but I will have to find £300 approx annually before I use any electric and gas.
That's like paying something for nothing. And I see electric and gas as essential to life not luxuries.
Most of the clothes I have purchased cost me 99p from a charity shop. Is that silly? Fleeces, hot water bottles and thermals are they silly? I am also using clothes that I have had for years and even some of Mum's that you cannot tell are for a woman.
And to make my smarter clothes last longer I use casual clothes in the home when there is only me. And if they get holes I do a quick sewing job.
Food is going up in price(or will be)It will be used(not wasted)and it has long dates on it and I don't worry about best before dates, so will probably eat items past their dates and use good old common sense.
But again most of the items are from value ranges/own brands or discount supermarkets. So silly, I don't think so.
I am not coming into £20,000 savings and what I am expecting will be swallowed up in months if paying Rent/CT/BT and utility bills. I know it's the same for those working/retired.
It will disappear very quickly whether I stay put or even if I find somewhere smaller.
And if other changes happen that I don't have any idea how things will turn out it will be even worse.
So I can be positive at this moment in time and my glass is half full.
I have checked with all the relevant people who give advice like CAB and I am doing everything that I should and I am not spending anything that I should not or am not entitled to nor trying to get rid of capital.
They also say I should use what I have to furnish anywhere new I move to or if I try to stay put if it is for genuine reasons like furniture, carpets, beds, curtains etc...and nothing outrageous I should but if you don't do so pretty damn quick, it will all go on all the things I said previously.
Then you have no money and nothing to show for it.
My attitude has always been make do and mend. So I try not to spend and it feels wrong doing so.
As for the gadgets I have, they are to save using electric and cook hot meals quicker and more cheaply when I am not eating cold meals.
Many were purchased before I lost Mum and the rest have taken 3 months+ to aquire.
I may not be able to buy them again or get them repaired. So I am thinking ahead.
" The NHS to some extent let down Mum and missed much of what was wrong. You know my views about the Social Worker and District Nurse that dealt with us."
How did the NHS let your Mum down, she had that growth on her bottom for months & you didn't call the doctor out ? So why is that a failing of the NHS ? Also she had free care in the nursing home, most people have to sell their house to pay the fees.
I think the Social worker & Nurse were just rather shocked that your Mother was mostly confined to her bedroom, with no TV, lieing on a bed, which you said almost had springs poking through the mattress. Of course you didn't like what they said to you !
The NHS didn't look after your Mother badly, you just didn't like them pointing out the faults in your care for your mother .
As far as you being looked after in the future if your kidneys get worse , I think it depends partly on whether a) your holding down a job or b) You've got people dependant on you.
No again not everything you say is as it was and you did not deal with them. She was not confined to the bedroom.
And until quite a way into her illness she would go and watch some TV but she prefered being where it was warm and cosy.
She enjoyed her music and being able to see her garden. She ate and drank reasonably well.
And Mum's carer was less than impressed with what was going on.
And from what you say the suggestion is if I don't have a job or any family they'll give up on me.
Now as I have said elsewhere if comments posted as an anon, names are not posted within the body of the post I will no longer respond.
Some anon(s) seem to have very long memories and drag up stuff from long ago. I was not reading then so have no idea if you are a half empty glass person.
Cx
The Anon's are quite new Carol and started around about the time Mum passed away but they could have been lurking...
And really started posting when they wanted to tell me I am wasting my time and life that I have remaining and once it came up about being ill/money it exploded.
I know people go out, some work but it depends on your condition. I don't put it all on here...I went out for a short walk to get some exercise and fresh air and was soon tired.
I gave up on some of what I planned to do and not only struggled to get home but because of the unsteady gate I have my I had to take some painkillers for lower back ache. Oh and my gout still is hanging around.
Now just because I have mentioned that, I am not complaining just stating fact but I could see an anon saying that by mentioning it that is exactly what I am doing.
Others mention their health on the net and don't get a negative response.
I don't mean to be cynical, but I suggest it was more convenient for you to have your Mum mainly upstairs during the last couple of years of her life, because I suspect , infact I think you've said that you've got your computer in your bedroom .
I can't believe I am here and answering a comment without a name but thank you for clarifying matters but guess what for a good six months or more I hardly went on the computer and we are talking minutes.
I gave all my time to Mum and given the choice of having Mum or my computer I would give up my PC immediately.
I have to take my Dr's word but (and perhaps it was said to give me peace)but they don't believe Mum had the cancer very long. Without it she probably could have come through the pheomonia(sp?)with anti biotics but battling both was too much. Bless her!
And suggesting that I was thinking of my computer was cynical.
Most of the time it was switched off and I spent nearly all my time(unless I was cooking or shopping in Mum's company day and night.
Anon, don't you have any flies in your house to play with and pull the wings off?
Also someone said rather cynically (anon) that gout is a rich or lazy man's disease, I forget which.
I have had gout since my early twenties, I eat none of the things that are supposed to cause it and don't drink alcohol. I am also very active and walk a lot.
Lots of misconceptions about gout.
Cx
"I don't mean to be cynical.."
No.You meant to be an a*shole. Job well done.
I cannot believe you don't have anything better to do than follow a man's blog....for years apparently...whom you do not know...who's ill....who's lost his mother....and take a swipe at him whenever you get the chance.
Why do you care? It's none of your d*mn business.
Gildy uses this blog to vent, to have someone to talk to sometimes or to just share whats in his head.
He's obviously "getting out of bed". He's all over the damn town as far as I can tell. A heck of a lot more than I am, I'll tell ya' that for free.
I've experienced a lot of what Gildy is going through when I lost my Mom. It takes a long time to get your feet underneath you.
And damn right he's worried about what's going to happen. He'd be an idiot not to.
I have no doubt he'll get it together, but it takes time. A few months ain't gonna do it.
I took me years to completely my groove back after my Mom passed.
If you'd like I can find some blogs from handicapped children you can go after. Pssh! Talk about slackers!
Idiot.
(Sorry for taking over your blog, Gildy, but that guy cheeses my crackers. I hate friggin' trolls.)
Jan
Thanks Jan,
Always good to see another opinion and yes I'll say thank you for your support. So many as you have alluded to say it takes time to get over such a big event and you cannot say how long it will take...
Pity there is so much distance between us, I'd pop in for a cup of tea :-)
I wish you could! We'd have a lovely time! :o)
You wouldn't be lonesome for long, my friend. My husband and my brother both get whats going on with you.
We'd all get together for a chin-wag and cookies/biscuits! :o)
Jan
The world is a smaller place thanks to the internet and I do hope that I can remain on line and not lose access. And I must as I gain my interests again get back on that site where we met if it still exists and make use of e-mail between us again.
You know when we were on about assumptions it's the same with how countries are perceived but so much of that comes from the media.
We have a vision of how the US is and no doubt you have about the UK but you know its when you talk as I have said many times when you actually talk to be people at street level most of our concerns are the same.
Or should I say you need to talk to what is usually called "The Silent Majority!"
Who are not heard so often in the press or on radio phone-ins they struggle but just get on with it.
We want enough to pay the bills, health and hopefully loved ones in our lives anything else is extra and if you are fortunate to have a close relationship with grand parents, parents, siblings and children(and yes we know not everyone has)than you are blessed.
More than ever we dance to the tune of our leaders, big business and the bankers. Yet we keep getting told to put family first but they make it more difficult to do so.
Family should be there for each other but they are having to do so much more and for longer for their offspring and they are seeing their finances suffer and reduce trying to help family but try and have enough for the twilight years.
Though many of the things they say about us are true to some degree or another, it's not the only thing we are by any means. I think the media's "Man bites dog" thing gives us all a sort of twisted image of the world and even of ourselves sometimes.
I absolutely agree that on the "street" level, people are pretty much the same.
I think most of us want a home that's safe, functional and fairly comfortable. We want decent food and clean water. Health for ourselves and our families. Decent jobs and peace. I mean, who DOESN'T want those things?
If we know what unites the people of the world, then the governments that separate us somehow seem a little less important. At least it does to me.
Jan
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