Another Nuisance...
I've always gone to sleep with a radio on very quietly, perhaps for the last 45 years. As you know these past few nights I've not been in my home or have come in so late(like today I did not put it on until 4am)
I happened to be downstairs at 5.30am and found a scribbled note on a brown envelope from our neighbour asking me to turn the radio down as its keeping her awake(more likely its my cough than the radio)its on so quiet I can hardly hear it!
There's always something.
Its kind of funny in one way because the noise we have to put up with from the opposite direction has driven us to distraction on occasions. And we've said nothing.
Its not as if the walls here are paper thin either...
I happened to be downstairs at 5.30am and found a scribbled note on a brown envelope from our neighbour asking me to turn the radio down as its keeping her awake(more likely its my cough than the radio)its on so quiet I can hardly hear it!
There's always something.
Its kind of funny in one way because the noise we have to put up with from the opposite direction has driven us to distraction on occasions. And we've said nothing.
Its not as if the walls here are paper thin either...
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 2:28 pm
22 Comments:
Oh dear.
I have the radio on all night too and have often wondered if next door can hear it, even though it's on very quietly. I've moved the radio to the other side of the bed, away from the dividing wall and hope that's enough.
There's always something, isn't there?
Hope all's well at the home today, Gildy.
Has it occurred to you that your neighbour might be telling the truth? Why do you assume that he/she is trying to be difficult?
Nobody has suggested that he/she is trying to be difficult or telling fibs.
Lighten up, Anon. You're not Victor Meldrew, are you?
VQ, Gildy has headed his blog 'another nuisance' Not particularly sympathetic, is he. Take the speck out of your own eye before you have a go at me.
Anon,
No, I'm not sympathetic because I've always watched out for neighbours etc...and you couldn't have a more considerate family as my parents and myself have always been.
And as I said I have done this for over 45 years and for the four or five years they've lived next door and they suddenly complain?
No need to get sort of stroppy about things.
And followers of my blog have known of things that have happened over the years that we could've had cause to complain ourselves...but didn't!
Mum was very sleepy today(not in pain)don't know what she ate before I arrived at the home. Mum was asleep at 5pm(Teatime)but we were promised for the next 4 hours they would return and cook my double yolk egg and turn it into poached egss and Mum wanted it)
By 10pm it was too late and the shift had changed. So all I got into Mum for nourishment and to stop dehydration was a Complan.
I don't know whether its a lost cause but Mum is still not off her food/drink so whilst that is the case I want her to get the best of what we can give.
I did get a kind of apology(again)
Lets hope tomorrow is better. It wasn't a bad day just that Mum was sleepy and they kept turning her on her side so it wasn't always easy to hold her hand or try to give her drinks etc...
I think whilst I was out of the room they'd given her medication early.
Mum was a little more alert as I came away from the home and would've liked me to stay but I thought I better come home again.
It seems, to me, very odd that they keep on forgetting to give your mum her meals.
If she didn't have you, she wouldn't last very long at all.
I wonder how many others they are 'forgetting to feed'.
I can see why you were disappointed ,but perhaps they were just rather busy at 5pm & didn't have time to cook your double yolked eggs especially for your Mum. Maybe it would be a good idea if she just ate what others on her sort of diet are being given . It must be a bit confusing for the home if relatives bring in their own food. They don't know whether the patients are going to be too full up for their proper meal, & the kichen staff might not always have the time to do special requests.
I have to agree with Anon in this one. What time did she wake up for her tea? Did you try her with the other things you take in as well as the Complan?
Do you really think that I take a lot of what I would call proper food in with me?
Couldn't do it...wish that I could!
It is things to suplement such as milk shakes, Complan and little extra's like biscuits, desserts etc...just to build up the calorie intake.
I don't mess up their meal plans and she eats mainly what is offered to her and often all I see when I go into her bedroom is a yogurt with perhaps a third of it out of the pot and the rest sitting there getting older and used. And often a beaker of tea virtually unused.
A teatime meal sometimes can be just a yogurt and a beaker of soup.
And don't forget I often eat what I take in otherwise I'd be hungry.
A resident I talk has seen cases where they bring food in and place it next to someone has difficulty feeding themselves(you've heard of cases like this in hospitals)and it just remains there uneaten or picked at.
They can't force anyone to eat but I can encourage Mum. And they say that I manage to get more food into her than they do.
Equally, when I'm there she sits in her chair for longer.
As far as I can see Mum doesn't have much of a diet and they mainly stick to fortified drinks...but last again, that sat in a beaker totally untouched.
Mum had said she did not want the Complan but that meant she'd had nothing since lunchtime. But she drank it for me...
I know you're doing your utmost for your Mum & you care very much for her , but although you say she hasn't gone off her food & drink, it seems to me that she requires a lot of coaxing to eat or drink .
Is she too weak to feed herself or pick up a beaker, or is she just not very interested ?
If they havn't got time to feed her individually, could they take her into the dining room where they could help two or three other residents at the same time ?
This home is being paid to care for and feed your mum.
It really isn't good enough.
So many old folk have nobody to visit.
Just imagine what happens to them.
Once again I say that your mum is so lucky to have you, Anthony.
As the Care Home knows that you give food to your mother, they probably think that she will refuse a meal.
From your obsession with calorie counting and your descriptions of what your mother has eaten, I would imagine that she isn't very interested in food, which would explain your delight every time she eats.
I'm more likely to go along with VQ on this one...My goodies are extra and if they'd give what is required I'd be fine about it!
Its like tonight they did some buttered bread and poached eggs...and then came back with no drink or second course.
Thankfully I was able to give Mum a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Later they were running very late with the meds and evening tea round. A resident(on respite)tells me they are short of staff or were struggling today.
The chart that shows when Mum is turned in bed/changed had many empty squares today and I was there so I know no one was in her room doing that. But Mum was calm, pain free etc...
Tonight, those empty squares were all filled in...
I'm not obsessed with calories, however all the booklets that MacMillan Nurse charity issues about feeding and building up people are based on fortifying what you give by adding various items and calories do play their part. 2,000 maintains weight(More than that hopefully adds weight)
These days many are trying to lose weight.
Can she feed and drink? Sometimes, often with help especially if she's in bed.
All I can say is on Sunday she sat in a chair for 4 hours and she ate well.
Some are in a terrible situation and dementia has them, you can hear them shouting all night long "Nurse" "Nurse" "Nurse" a new man tonight kept shouting out "Hello" and as they tend to leave the doors open it spoils the rest of those who probably know they will be going home again.
Since your mother does very little during the day, I doubt she would need 2000 calories. Any information given to you will be based on averages. As each person is different, it's probably better to give your mother what she wants, not what you think she needs.
They are happy to see Mum eat/drink as much as she is able. Whether UI feed Mum my stuff or what they can doi for her.
She may not need as many calories but if we are trying to maintain the weight she has/increase it any extra calorific value is welcome especially if the cancer may be taking away the goodness in her body...
They have admitted they can ask Mum to eat but they cannot do much more...I am allowed to...
Just an idea, but you can get 'bed speakers' they go under the pillow
and you can still listen.
Cant think at the mo who might have them,but Maplins is good place to start
As one Anon user to another. Unless you have been through a situation like this on your own you will not understand that whatever Gilde writes about calories and double yolked eggs is helping him get through this. Some of us have to cope on our own, and however out of kilter we might appear to other people like yourself its our way of dealing with what ever the cards have dealt us.
Ohhh crikey. How many 'Anons' are there? I do wish people would use a name - any name.
Anyway, Gildy, hope things are going well.
My thoughts too VQ. Hope you are ok Anthony XX
Regarding the speakers, I bought a pillow speaker from Avon - for use with an ipod or mp3. It has a short lead but would not stretch anywhere to a radio.
Anon (I mean Carol ;)}
Thanks for the information about the speakers(I hate giving in when I'm not doing anything wrong)and the radio is on so low...
At present being out at the home all night or coming in in the early hours of the morning, there isn't anything on to annoy her and when it is I have a portable transistor on and its...in the bed with me!
As someone who has been in a worse situation than Gildy, I speak from experience.
So do I Anon!
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