I'll Have To Be On My Guard...For The Both Of Us!

I'll explain that later...

I managed to get in to see Mum around 2.30pm and was there until 8pm(that took in a move to another ward)the previous one was for assessment, this a medical ward.

As always there are good nursing staff and bad nursing staff. No less compassionate/caring is a better description.

I went away to the toilet and came back to find the evening meal had been served. Last night I managed to get something into Mum but as I wasn't there and she was sleepy she had...nothing! This lady is thin for God's sake, she needs nourishment!

Just before the meal was served up some male nurse started throwing wipes at each patients shouting meals coming. I admit I'd made the error of leaving Mum's bedside so she did not get a meal(should I feel guilty?)but Mum wasn't going to wipe her hands but me being there at least I took the wipes and used them over her hands.

Sadly, she did not eat much of what I took today(hopefully, tomorrow she will)but I did get some fromage frais, chocolate, jelly and cream into her. I have new flask so I hope to take that soup tomorrow. I managed to get a little water, tea and coffe into her. I have to assume that Mum probably had no or little breakfast of lunch when I wasn't there.

She did get the blood transfusion, some pain killers, something for her mouth at last but I discovered that they are giving some kind of tablet to make her motions soft...

Soft!

They usually are without any help of an opening medicine. Unless they've gone the other way because...she's not eating or getting enough liquid.

The new ward has set visiting hours so I'll have to do approx 90 minutes in the afternoon, hang around until evening and go back into the ward for the evening visit, I'm not coming home that would add extra travel but also another £30(It's costing that already return)

Don't get me wrong Mum's worth it. But its a lot to find and I bet if I studied I'm going through most of our income or will be if she stays there for a long time.

The new nurse on Mum's ward(I assume doing the evening shift)has an Irish accent a bit difficult to catch)Mum doesn't always hear. Tonight, the nurse asked if she was ok with the side bars up, Mum didn't hear, I repeated what the Nurse had said Mum answered, I looked up, the nurse had already disappeared and had not stayed long enough for an answer.

Now about being on my guard...

Mum was very, very sleepy and confused. So we get a nurse coming to the bed to discuss a discharge/care plan, she asked Mum questions Mum always says no to such as "I don't want to go into a home!" " I like being in my own home, my own surroundings and want to die there with my son etc..."

The care we receive has the option to be increased to 7 days and numerous visits daily(hell, it will cost a lot)but if it has to be done...we can and probably will now install a stair lift(rented)more expense(£350 a year)and if she survives and is up to it a wheelchair for perhaps some fresh air during Summer.

So when the Nurse mentions going into a home supposedly temporarily(alarm bells)Mum today says that sound nice...the they about using a single bed...Mum likes her double bed she can stretch out, today she said the opposite! Talk to Mum when she's more with it please!

I can talk to the care company, District Nurse and Social Worker, this one says lets get together with the District Nurse and make out a plan...they'll say its for Mum's benefit and the intentions may be good and I don't deliberately avoid help but having had run in's with the senior District Nurse I can imagine how it will go. They've been on about getting Mum into a home ever since she took ill and was ok. I need to stand my ground. They claim its to help me...phooey!

I am not stressed but if I was I'll ask for help. If she is put into care, her meagre savings go west and it may sound heartless anything that might help me when Mum goes is lost too.

I am not being deliberately awkward, honestly I'm not.

And the future as I say doesn't look too promising with(political rant coming)the change in the benefit system, I may have my name on the rent card and have been here 50+ years but they'll move and if the money stops who knows what will happen.

I was talking to someone in the supermarket tonight, buying that new flask, she lives with her partner and they moved them into a bedsit barely large enough for the bed...You watch they'll probably try that with me.

And it could be a bad part of town...perhaps another town...who knows!

I hope that there's room for my pc's, CD's, books, washer, tumble dryer, fridge/freezer and bed.

But hey I have to think of Mum. And take each day.

Mum gets a bit restless but as the taxi driver said "When I am really ill and out of it, I have to sleep and my wife tells me that I thrash about and talk all kinds of rubbish!" and he's not suffering with dementia...but when someone is ill you look for all kinds of problems. We'll just have to see how things pan out.

I can see another fight looming on the horizon.

It's not their fault but every nurse mentions or asks about some of the marks on Mum's face "Have you had a fall?" etc...no, they are slow cancer growths that will not and never would have killed her and I have to keep explaining what they are over and over again!

You know sometimes I feel I am talked at not to, That I am not treated as a "Man" but as a child. Perhaps I look young ;-) but if they know Mum's age they must have an idea of my age.

Oh well...tomorrow's another day...

Think I'll have a meal and turn in...

If I cannot visit Mum until tomorrow afternoon, I'll do some housework in the morning...

Update:So much for the meal I had planned lamb mince, gravy and a dumpling...as I had it in the freezer, I have to let it defrost in fridge so I have had a wholemeal bun filled with a tomato and a bottle of lemon and lime water...

and so to bed...