A Sad Day...

I have helped run a forum for many years and we were a lovely bunch of people who rarely if ever fell out with each other. Disagreements were few but different views were treated with respect and you knew how to deal with problems if they arose. We had a crisis some years ago but weathered the storm.

But over the years people do leave and now the membership is probably standing at approx twelve people but these things happen. Out of those twelve some rarely post so that means the core membership is approx six people. There are still some lovely people there.

Some of what I write here because they are/were my friends I have posted there too. They wanted to know how things were but I have been accused of self pity and been criticised about how I have reacted to the help we are receiving. The last straw was that someone said something really horrible about Mum(I won't repeat it here, it was quite disgusting)

In the past some would have been finished or warned for saying less. I don't want anyone to take sides but I would've hoped that my fellow mods would've said "You have crossed a line" withdraw that remark there is no bases for saying such a thing.

Say what you like about me but not my defenceless seriously ill Mum.

I would say that wouldn't I, especially as you are not hearing all sides but I refuse to say what I found offensive. Clever people on the net probably will be able to find it(though the forum was mostly private and you had to be a member to read everything)we tried to protect our members.

I have also had(I must protect their honesty)but it shows how I keep what I am told to myself, someone admit they have said nothing because it could divide the members and some may talk to her or decide not to, damned either way. No, all that had to be said was "Withdraw that remark, you have gone too far!"

Again I'm not asking for someone to take sides.

And today I discovered the argument had flared up again(By chance)about something else I had done(but I had not)totally innocent and only discovered this by chance(the same person/people again)once again I had no support.

How sad to have who I thought were friends during our difficult time to have this happen. The only good thing is that a number of people did not want me to leave and return. Some apologised for being cowards and not saying something and many have asked to stay in touch and have given me an e-mail address so some of my faith has been restored.

And privately those who have stayed in touch are less than complimentary about those who said such hurtful things. I suppose the truth is that when there only a few people keeping a forum going they are frightened it will fold altogether.

Some thought I would go complaining to the person who pays for the forum to be online, If I do contact that person it will not be to slag the board off just to say I am no longer actively involved(I'm just popping in and tying up loose ends until I am banned, my access is blocked)and though still officially a moderator I am reluctant to do anything for fear of being crticised. Would I post again/ Really, only if I felt I had to defend/justify myself because the war of words breaks out.

I know that if the board is closed down plans are afoot to kind of launch a new site where those who are suddenly without a home can go and resume from scratch. I won't be invited.

So I have mixed feelings today...and you feel bad because of all the years you've wasted.

Now what else can go wrong?

At least I have not named anyone nor said which forum it was...

I've probably created a rod for my own back writing about this here and no doubt this will be mentioned at the other place as some read this blog, I probably should've kept my mouth shut but when you feel sad sometimes you need to say something(I suppose its a bit like writing a diary)