The Only Sure Thing We Know About Life Is...
Death and Taxes. I believe that's the saying. Well, taxes I could care less about except in an ideal world they are used to improve the lives of the sick and vulnerable.
But we do know that we all will die. Just that hopefully no one tells you when its likely or that you have live with the knowledge your time is limited. Most have an approx age in mind because officially an average age is statistically released every so often.
Certain events in life make you realise your mortality. Such as if you work and you reach retirement age. I believe for many years up on retiring it was more or less agreed you would live between five and ten years. That also pleased the Governments because they are not paying out on expensive medical procedures on the NHS and not paying state pension and other benefits indefinitely.
Its ok "Rich" people living longer but not the mass population.
But life is not guaranteed and all kinds of spanners will and do get thrown in the works for many of us and it will see many of us having all kinds of worries from not having enough money to live on, losing jobs, illnesses and so on.
I don't know which is worse...I used to think how do you accept being told that you cannot be cured or have a condition stabilised but I almost was faced with that situation 14 years ago and I cannot say what the future holds, my time on this earth may be cut short or I may face lots of medical procedures where I find myself wondering if I can be bothered with the hassle. Is my life that precious?
If I only have myself to think of and no one else is worried whether I am here am I less likely to fight to survive?
And here's another thought...is it worse for the person who is told they are going to die or if you have others who love you being left behind and still living without you in their lives. Do you ever get over the loss of a loved one? Of course your life has been enriched having that person in your life and that's why it feels less so without them. So perhaps it is easier for the person who is told such news.
I have heard it said many times it is worse for the relatives watching than the person themselves.
Luckily the Human mind can for most of the time put such morbid thoughts on the back burner and almost pretend it isn't going to happen. We all hope we'll die peacefully in our sleep or it will happen so quickly we'll not have time to think about it!
But only God knows what it feels like having loved ones if you are fortunate to have them sitting around the bed waiting for you to take your last breath and you knowing its coming.
In my own case unless I meet someone and have a relationship late in life, unless I have accident...I will die alone in my home and be discovered by someone who might wonder why the curtains are drawn and I haven't been seen or been paying my rent, possibly in hospital or in a residential home with people who are not loved ones and are being paid to do a job but I'll still die alone as we all will.
Where did this morbid blog entry come from? I don't know but we all think such thoughts at some time in our lives and you realise you are not immortal and I have lost my Father to Lung cancer and now Mum is living with the disease but as I say hopefully they can be dismissed and other thoughts block them out.
They say one in three people will get cancer at some point in their lives so if we don't get it ourselves we will know someone with it. Great statistics to have to live with...
To lighten this post I remember a joke the comedian Dave Allen used to tell(I'm sure others have)
He had a routine about retirement and he used to say how you worked by the clock or clocked into work each day and your live is governed by time and what do they give you when you retire as a gift?
"A Bloody Clock!"
But we do know that we all will die. Just that hopefully no one tells you when its likely or that you have live with the knowledge your time is limited. Most have an approx age in mind because officially an average age is statistically released every so often.
Certain events in life make you realise your mortality. Such as if you work and you reach retirement age. I believe for many years up on retiring it was more or less agreed you would live between five and ten years. That also pleased the Governments because they are not paying out on expensive medical procedures on the NHS and not paying state pension and other benefits indefinitely.
Its ok "Rich" people living longer but not the mass population.
But life is not guaranteed and all kinds of spanners will and do get thrown in the works for many of us and it will see many of us having all kinds of worries from not having enough money to live on, losing jobs, illnesses and so on.
I don't know which is worse...I used to think how do you accept being told that you cannot be cured or have a condition stabilised but I almost was faced with that situation 14 years ago and I cannot say what the future holds, my time on this earth may be cut short or I may face lots of medical procedures where I find myself wondering if I can be bothered with the hassle. Is my life that precious?
If I only have myself to think of and no one else is worried whether I am here am I less likely to fight to survive?
And here's another thought...is it worse for the person who is told they are going to die or if you have others who love you being left behind and still living without you in their lives. Do you ever get over the loss of a loved one? Of course your life has been enriched having that person in your life and that's why it feels less so without them. So perhaps it is easier for the person who is told such news.
I have heard it said many times it is worse for the relatives watching than the person themselves.
Luckily the Human mind can for most of the time put such morbid thoughts on the back burner and almost pretend it isn't going to happen. We all hope we'll die peacefully in our sleep or it will happen so quickly we'll not have time to think about it!
But only God knows what it feels like having loved ones if you are fortunate to have them sitting around the bed waiting for you to take your last breath and you knowing its coming.
In my own case unless I meet someone and have a relationship late in life, unless I have accident...I will die alone in my home and be discovered by someone who might wonder why the curtains are drawn and I haven't been seen or been paying my rent, possibly in hospital or in a residential home with people who are not loved ones and are being paid to do a job but I'll still die alone as we all will.
Where did this morbid blog entry come from? I don't know but we all think such thoughts at some time in our lives and you realise you are not immortal and I have lost my Father to Lung cancer and now Mum is living with the disease but as I say hopefully they can be dismissed and other thoughts block them out.
They say one in three people will get cancer at some point in their lives so if we don't get it ourselves we will know someone with it. Great statistics to have to live with...
To lighten this post I remember a joke the comedian Dave Allen used to tell(I'm sure others have)
He had a routine about retirement and he used to say how you worked by the clock or clocked into work each day and your live is governed by time and what do they give you when you retire as a gift?
"A Bloody Clock!"
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 2:04 pm
5 Comments:
Do you ever get over the loss of a loved one?
Yes, you do.
Having lost both parents, a sister and my husband, I can say that, eventually, the hurt diminishes.
To begin with, I found there was a physical pain in the pit of my stomach but, gradually it lessens.
You never forget, of course.
Like you, Gildy, I shall probably be found some time later but there's no point in dwelling on it. I know it's rather a hackneyed phrase but I have come to the conclusion that the best thing we can do is live life one day at a time.
Perhaps planning a little treat once a week so that there is something to look forward to.
I wrote that post VQ but as I said in the entry...I find myself stepping back and thinking how defeatist.
I haven't lost many people in my life but all that I have I was close to.
My Gran, my Father...I am unsure whether I came to terms through my strength of character or because there was always someone there to share the grief and offer support to me as I have to them(Mum)
This time it would be me on my own.
You talk a lot of sense VQ. It also does some good to kind of stop me feeling sorry for myself. Grief and the losing of someone is not exclsuive to me but that post makes it look as though it is.
I feel it for others...a friend has mentioned how a man is now in care with a form of CJD and he doesn't know his own wife.
Last night there was a young widow bringing up a baby and her soldier husband of 25 was blown up in Afganistan.
All as sad and as important as my situation.
Its not like me.
Did I say I'm not sure its worth me arranging my own funeral because I cannot think who would attend.
I won't be there except in the physical sense so I may as well leave it to the local authorities.
Its silly trying to imagine what it will be like, it could be totally different.
You think would you ever cook a decent meal again if there is only one person or will you just do things like jacket potatoes, baked beans etc...not that there is anything wrong with simple wholesome fare.
Would I ever bother with say a Sunday Lunch?
Will I be able to listen to the music we have listened to without feeling sad?
There has never been a truer saying than the one you and even Mum have said take it "One day at a time" and don't think much more ahead than that.
Mum says that though she has been told she has cancer she honestly doesn't think about it and I am more likely to mention it.
I think if you are sensitive you will have times where you feel as I have expressed in my latest entry but talking that way I have perhaps gone down in the estimation of some.
Not at all, my dear.
I have great admiration for you.
Few sons would care for their ailing mother as you do.
There are many times when I, too, wonder what the point is.
I'm afraid I do mostly resort to a jacket potato or something on toast.
I'm glad you blog. It is good to get things off one's chest.
Onward and upward, Gildy!!
When I was criticised for trying to give Mum the best of food and someone said "Do you expect your mother to live until 105!"
I think something someone else said on a forum that talks of nothing but bowel cancer says it all...
I'll risk quoting from it...
"I know my Mum has to die sometime and I am a realist by nature but I'm so worried for her"
"I am the only child but my Mum and in fact my Dad have been my rocks for as long as I can remember"
"We have been best friends and are now getting older together."
"I am so worried about her as it seems there is not much the hospital can do other than offer Radiotherapy"
Now this shows that I am not alone with such thoughts and they are normal.
A while ago someone else said my blog had brought it home how she is in a similar situation where she is living with her Mum but one day she will be alone.
So I'm not so very different.
They don't always get a diagnosis correct either which I can accept, medicine is not an exact science but just like Mum another person explains how they worried over a mark on her liver and she was put through quite a lot of treatment to be told(and this would excuse all that had happened I expect...
The mark had probably been there since birth and it was nothing to worry over.
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