Mum's Gone...
Last night was difficult. I held Mum's hand all night and kept telling her how much she meant to me.
This morning her breathing pattern changed. She stared into space and could not really respond but I believe she understood and was able to hear what I was saying.
Perhaps around 8am I happened to say something, kissed Mum's forehead and then her lips. She responded and kissed me back and I have never felt such a strong kiss and it must've taken all her strength but I guess she was giving me a farewell kiss.
At least Mum is out of her suffering and pain and its a new life for me.
I am listening to Mum's favourite music radio programme as I write this and am surprised that am finding it reasonably easy to continue to do so. I didn't think that I would.
The idea of most blogs is to remain anonymous and someone may recognise Mum and in turn work out who I am but I am going to post two images of Mum. One taken approx 6 years ago when I purchased a digital camera and the second taken approx 6 months ago.
As plans take shape and things are arranged I'll post more. There was a lot to blog about and probably will be again but at present its all a bit flat.
Thanks for all the comments and good wishes and support.
This morning her breathing pattern changed. She stared into space and could not really respond but I believe she understood and was able to hear what I was saying.
Perhaps around 8am I happened to say something, kissed Mum's forehead and then her lips. She responded and kissed me back and I have never felt such a strong kiss and it must've taken all her strength but I guess she was giving me a farewell kiss.
At least Mum is out of her suffering and pain and its a new life for me.
I am listening to Mum's favourite music radio programme as I write this and am surprised that am finding it reasonably easy to continue to do so. I didn't think that I would.
The idea of most blogs is to remain anonymous and someone may recognise Mum and in turn work out who I am but I am going to post two images of Mum. One taken approx 6 years ago when I purchased a digital camera and the second taken approx 6 months ago.
As plans take shape and things are arranged I'll post more. There was a lot to blog about and probably will be again but at present its all a bit flat.
Thanks for all the comments and good wishes and support.
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 3:33 pm
8 Comments:
Oh Gildy.
Whatever can I say to you? Those of us who have already lost our mothers, know how you must be feeling.
The one thing that is positive is that you couldn't possibly have done any more for your mum.
'Above and beyond the call of duty' certainly springs to mind in this case.
How lovely that your mum knew just how much she meant to you.
I sort of know what you mean by 'it's all a bit flat'.
When my father died of lung cancer, I just felt a great relief that he was no longer suffering.
Now we have to concentrate on you, which is what your mum would want.
Please continue to blog when you feel that you can.
There will always be some negative people but, on the whole, people are good and we're all here to offer support and advice if needed.
I don't believe that your future is nearly as bleak as you think.
A big virtual hug to you. x
Beautiful pictures Gildy. Somehow I thought it would be today after your last post.
Arrangements will keep you busy for a while. Just feel whatever you do feel.
I feel so sad for you. Have been looking out for your post all day.
Lots of love and hugs
Carol xx
So sorry to hear this, Gildy.
Be strong and remember that there are quite a number of people thinking of you.
VQ and the others have already said so well what I would like to say.
Thanks so much for the pictures; posting them now is a fitting tribute to her -- you can see what a lovely person she is!
Whatever thoughts you have now, remember your extremely tired and run down and will not be thinking straight, so give yourself a few weeks before you start thinking about your life.
I can tell you that first comes the sense of relief -then the terrible vacuum of someone you love missing.If can you throw yourslef into doing something else,
pottery at the local college, voluntary work or even looking after a budgie,(just examples) - it really does help
you to occupy your mind and get you through the worst part.
Thinking of you Gildy
Love
Judith aka Magenpie
xx
Why are there no words that can truly express one persons sorrow, compassion and support for a friend at the loss of a a loved one. "I'm sorry" is just so inadequate. But it will have to do. I'm so sorry, Gildy. :o(
I'm glad you were able to be there for her and connect with her at the end.
The feelings at the loss of a mother are so complex. My sister and I came to the conclusion that the human body couldn't possible contain all the pain and sorrow at once so it seems to comes in waves.
One thing I do know, Gildy, is that you're one of the strongest men I've ever known. That was one of the hardest things one person can do for another, and you did it admirably.
You gave everything you had and your Mum knew you loved her with her last breath.
You did right by her and she knew it. Take comfort in that.
You have lots of love, friendship and prayers surrounding you my friend.
Take care and hang in there.
Jan :o(
Well said, Jan.
I think you have said what we were all trying to say.
Gildy, I hope you slept.
I wouldn't be at all surprised if you slept round the clock. You must be exhausted. x
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