Lets Start A New Post...

She's really suffering now...
But I've managed to get a new supply of the drugs the hospital issued to ease her pain and a few others that her Dr normally issued(before this happened)Her own Dr is coming to see her in our home at the end of next week barring something unexpected. I suspect whether we want them or not other health/social care departments will visit too.

I see if you are able to afford private care and live in a country like the USA they have a new procedure that seems improve such injuries as crushed vertebrae.

It almost returns vertebrae to their usual size to avoid putting pressure on the others that surround the injured bone, it involves putting a needle into the crushed vertebrae and a kind of cement is injected into the damaged bone. I suspect it is an expensive procedure and possibly has some possible dangers where something could go wrong. Anything to do with the spine has some danger.

This may not be as widespread as the Internet suggests as my friend North Star who knows someone who injured his back...he was not offered this procedure and was told time heals. There was talk of wearing a corset or brace for him and Mum. So far they are trying to get Mum better using rest and allowing nature to take it's course.

Well, it's early days...we can only see how things pan out. The danger is to try and rush these things. If she had to live as now...what a life...what life? You can understand why people give up and wish to end it all. That is a natural reaction I suspect initially for anyone when something traumatic happens to anyone but it also brings home how finite and quickly your life can change in minutes.

The pain killers are not really having the effect I'd like...this may be due to her getting used to them or the pain increasing, I'm not sure.

The only good thing is I did manage to get some food into her...Cereal and some toast for Breakfast, Soup and a couple of egg sandwiches for lunch and she shared some of my fish and chips for supper. Also, like in hospital I have managed to give her some tea/water and a small coffee.

I managed to get some shopping in earlier this evening having got Mum to promise not to move anywhere whilst I was out.

In the great scheme of things it's not important but my new hard drive is playing up(I have yet to get it to work as it's supposed to. And the reason I purchased it(to store items that might be lost if another drive crashed)I managed to format the wrong drive(I'll blame being worried about Mum and being tired from all the time I was spending in hospital between visiting hours)and I have lost 5,000 mp3's(music)I lost the lot but managed to get some back. Some are lost for good...others I will have to start from scratch and convert them myself and that took months!

That is one thing they could improve on in the local hospital's...If the restaurant was open all the time you could drink tea and make it last hours but they have set times for meals and the reception areas are very small and near the entrance so cold and drafty. But when you have three and a half hours to kill between visiting hours, it's not worth coming home but waiting around is boring...heaven knows if I thought it was boring what it's like being a patient.

I say heaven knows, I have been a patient so I do know how difficult it is to fill the long hours between tests and visiting hours(my favorite pastime was constantly re-arranging my bedside locker and it's contents many times in the day)but how you long for someone to walk through the door and see a familiar face to give you comfort and hopefully break up the boredom. And how awful it is when the bell rings and the visitors leave...and you have to stay.

Update:She was not confused in Hospital. She'll be unhappy me saying this here. But there is some confusion, now she's home. I hope it's that's she's sleeping so much and/or the effects of the strong drugs she's taking for the pain. I believe it is confusion more than memory loss. I am hoping as she takes less of the medication this will improve...otherwise there is something else to worry about. I did look up side effects on the Internet and it's suggested this is one of them.

My good friend Curmy mentioned to me that her own Mother was confused when sleeping for a long time but afterwards when she returned to some kind of normal life, she's was fine again. So we'll see how it goes.

I'm off to cook the evening meal and we'll be having Plaice, vegetables and either chips or mashed potato.

Tomorrow for quickness and easiness I have purchased for our Sunday Meal, one in the Bird's Eye range of meals and in particular a Roast Chicken one, we used buy them often and they were always decent value and quite tasty.

These are all easy meals that take next to no preparation.

Dare I admit that I am scared and frightened about what the future holds for Mum and selfishly the same is true for myself. Suddenly, the future looks uninviting and full of problems and I'm not sure I am bothered about any of it. I may be able to listen to the radio, eat something nice(I hope)afford to keep the heating on and stay warm but after it's all done and dusted, is there any point to it all?

There was a big feature done on the BBC World Service about does money make you happy and contented after some big survey that was done decades ago. In general the ordinary person in the street is happy as long as they can afford food and shelter and extra money doesn't really add to one's happiness, it's equally as likely struggling after being used to having "Just enough" to find it taken away will make you less content and happy. They said you are more likely to find your life enhanced by experiences such as a nice vacation etc...tell that to the person who hasn't the money to just go where they want, when they want.

But is living on handouts from charity or the benefit system a country has? It might be ok if you did not have to prove to the authorities you deserve what you receive or battle against some of society who lump the genuine with those they believe are not so. Even if ill, when receiving help you are told what is your's, but even if you can manage a holiday(even a modest one)you have to keep the authorities informed of your whereabouts. "Big Brother" is watching! That's why I said earlier many with a view on such matters have no idea what it is like until they experience it for themselves. How much of your life is your own?

There isn't much to look forward to. I'm not sure that I fancy living for decades ahead. And the thought of ending up in residential care fills me with horror just I'm sure it does Mum. It's one thing to be positive and hopefully fight this problem and be as we were but to fight it just to end up in care, I'm not sure even she wants that. If that was to be the outcome.

I/we are only one of many in this country or across the world...we're no worse I suppose but there are too many of us living this way. I can remember the promise was as I grew up people would retire earlier, have a decent pension and be doing all those things they wanted to...it may be so for some but for most I doubt that is true and highly unlikely. For most it's a life of debt and when older a life of being frugal surviving on very little. Funnily enough the entertainer Lionel Blair was interviewed on the radio and his charitable work came up and the charities he helps are those trying to give older people a decent life where they can both have a decent meal and keep the heating turned on.

The Archbishop of Canterbury has just given a lecture/speech where he says that as population we feel our country is going to dogs and we are going down the tubes. Perhaps every generation feels pessimistic or maybe he has something.

Update:Pain is bad with or without painkillers(that may be normal in such cases)and we have already had a kind of dispute where I have had to withdraw them in case she takes more in a 24 hour period than she should(that makes you popular...not)and though I usually say age is but a number and we pay too much attention to age these days...that is a factor and has to be considered as part of the recovery process. Maybe I will be my positive self again soon, it's early days...This is not like me at all. I am made of stronger stuff...and if I think I have it bad, I have to think of Mum.