Illness...

Something very few of us go through life without suffering to varying degrees. Some of you who have read my blog over the months know that I posted a big entry about my condition. Not just putting my own situation there to be read but to tell anyone reading how important it is(without becoming a hypochondriac)to have a check up once in a while and in particular to get a blood test taken and your blood pressure reading. Because so many conditions show little if any signs of anything being wrong. If spotted soon enough they can be corrected or controlled and therefore the problem can be cured or controlled.

Often, if something goes wrong, if not corrected the imbalance of what is happening will cause further damage, often to other organs not originally affected.

Now, as I write this approx 3 weeks ago I had what was called a full blood count when I visited my consultant for my regular check up. Not receiving any news from the results has to be good news. I was told if things ever were bad I would be contacted very quickly and some form of treatment would be started ASAP. My own Dr has not had any word which also pleases him as he sees it again as proof that my medical problems are controlled and to some extent in remission. I am always asked by my consultant if I have any questions and I always tend to say no.

Maybe I should ask but if I did I may not like what I hear and perhaps ignorance is bliss. If in the future I have something to worry about(say in ten years time)do I want to worry for the next ten years? If I worry and then things are OK, I have also wasted the time doing so un-necessarily. It may be that my treatment has halted the problem altogether or slowed it down enough so that by the time it could become a problem, something else will have taken me away.

Don't let this give you the impression that I am depressed because I am not and I feel positive.

What prompted this entry is for two reasons. A relative has been diagnosed with a medical problem. Well, she was some years ago and spent time in hospital(not related to my condition)after a long time in hospital she was allowed home. At the time she pressured me to look on the internet for information about her treatment. I did not like what I read because of what the medicine was being taken for and the likely outcome. So there was a bit of being economical with the truth and I kind of believed that any further information should be obtained via her own Dr by her asking questions directly of him or asking her son to enquire but then it depends how much you should find out and as said earlier whether its better to know more or remain ignorant.

Well, today results came back from a big test for my relative and there was more good news than bad but the original cause of concern came back as abnormal. No more news of improvement or deterioration. Years on she asked for the condition to be looked up again on the net(the information was as it was years ago when I looked it up)so once again we left out the negative points and gave the basic information. And all the points of how to look after yourself.

The point is, it's a no win situation. Leave out information...she'll worry what you haven't said. Tell her all you know, she'll also worry. The suggestion is that the condition can be slowed down but that it will get worse and we don't want to think about the possible outcome. I also think, if her own Dr hasn't told any more than he needs to, that's a good sign or he knows that for now its better for his patient that he protects her. I also do not think it right to override his way of dealing with his patient, in his own way. And though I know where I have found the information to be genuine, maybe I could still have some things wrong as on the net or as in any medical reference book, they can only talk in generalised terms. That's where you need the expertise of Dr's and specialist experts.

The other reason for this entry is that a friend is also going through difficult and worrying times with someone very dear and close to them(and to some extent there is a connection)because its a variation of conditions connected to myself so we do have something in common. Wish it was something more pleasant and happier.

Its good to talk, to offer support and I remain positive about matters but then as with many things, if the situation is bad, we have to then say, how do we make things better, where do we go from here? We must not give up hope. I know it often appears that prayer does not work but I do know that it has helped me through some difficult times. I do know that I have questioned my faith. But I know the feeling of well being it gives and if it has such an effect should we put it down or those who believe? I don't believe that.

I'm not however about to say which faiths I believe to be harmful. It's a personal thing. I'd say that most faiths have the same ideas at their heart but sometimes just have different ideas of how to reach the place we hope to go.

Sometimes, its difficult to know what to say but just knowing someone is thinking of you is all that is needed. That you are not alone. I know its also very easy to say.