Good Morning World!
A busy day ahead, I'll resume my final push of having everything tidy soon. Then once the Gas Central Heating Engineer has been and the Gardener tomorrow I'll get myself ready for the Memorial Service on Sunday. It will give me time to get my head together.
I do suddenly feel different and I cannot explain why, more accepting of what's happened, I may not like it(what's to like?)but I am not as troubled. Is this the inner peace we all seek?
Anyhow I really did struggle when I was out yesterday, lots of stopping, sitting and leaning on things but "I did It!"
I was fortunate that the weather was kind and it was a pleasant evening. A light shop and the plan was to return home and have that meal...I didn't...I had a ten minute rest on the bed, fell into a very deep sleep...3 hours later I awoke, felt a bit ropey. Made myself a drink of weak coffee and then a wholemeal bun with tomato and sliced turkey.
I felt much better. I planned to set my internet away overnight whilst I slept(A few times)found I could not be bothered. The task was easy, push a few buttons, no, couldn't be bothered. I slept better, just a nice temperature(No night sweats)no getting up to wee and I feel much brighter.
So I may still get that meal today.
I have had a weak coffee and a toffee apple yogurt to start the day, sometimes light and often is fine.
I will have some fruit and cereal soon. I really love cold milk out of the fridge. Which cereal should I choose? I have such a selection to choose from(some well known brands half price or BOGOF or own brands at low prices)and the dates are so far into the future they'll not be wasted.
Breakfast is probably the easiest meal of the day to sort out. If you get a meal at the start and end of the day you'll come to no harm, the rest of the day doesn't really matter. You can always grab a sandwich, a snack, a banana even treat yourself to a piece of cake or a scone.
So if I don't go out today, I've plenty to do...I might even do a small wash if I have enough items.
When Mum was alive, most of the time we did not need blankets and sheets, the duvet was enough. It's the same now. I am hoping the one I am using as it's lighter it might fit in the washer. Cutting down on work and energy costs. Sadly, my single and light duvet was left at the home, I'd taken it as I thought it was not as heavy for covering Mum but I don't want to go back there, not because of the memories but I still am unhappy with some of those who are in charge, to be blunt I didn't like them when Mum was there. One I call the "smiling assassin!"
But I used to have this argument with the Social Worker and District Nurse, even when Mum was here, if cold, there was plenty of blankets otherwise a lot of the covering was un-necessary, it was more for show, appearances...and although they cannot do anything now, as they were so involved with us during Mum's illness, you'd have thought they might've made one last call to see how I am afterwards and just to draw a line under it all but no one has. Everyone just disappears. Where I live it would be so easy for them just to say "How are you doing?" They are based only two streets away next to the supermarket. As is the Carer's Association, that was a really not much use to be honest. And once you cease being a carer they offer no back up when suddenly everything has changed.
I think this is one of the criticisms that comes up a lot about the care services. Then again I actually like having as little to do with authority and government services as possible and to be in charge of my own destiny.
Anyhow for all that hopefully today is going to be a good day...and contrary to what I have written I feel positive.
Update:I've postponed the gas service until next Friday at 11am...so I can take it reasonably easy for the remainder of this week.
It has gone very dull outside. So I am catching up on programmes missed on the radio via the net, had a cup a soup, two yogurts, soon some cereal and fruit and later I may just have another turkey sandwich...Its easy but enough. I don't think I that eat much but I have a fat face and have lost the definition around my neck.
I'm still managing to shave regularly, I may tire of the daily chore but the feeling afterwards makes up for it. Me with a beard, just isn't me...
I do suddenly feel different and I cannot explain why, more accepting of what's happened, I may not like it(what's to like?)but I am not as troubled. Is this the inner peace we all seek?
Anyhow I really did struggle when I was out yesterday, lots of stopping, sitting and leaning on things but "I did It!"
I was fortunate that the weather was kind and it was a pleasant evening. A light shop and the plan was to return home and have that meal...I didn't...I had a ten minute rest on the bed, fell into a very deep sleep...3 hours later I awoke, felt a bit ropey. Made myself a drink of weak coffee and then a wholemeal bun with tomato and sliced turkey.
I felt much better. I planned to set my internet away overnight whilst I slept(A few times)found I could not be bothered. The task was easy, push a few buttons, no, couldn't be bothered. I slept better, just a nice temperature(No night sweats)no getting up to wee and I feel much brighter.
So I may still get that meal today.
I have had a weak coffee and a toffee apple yogurt to start the day, sometimes light and often is fine.
I will have some fruit and cereal soon. I really love cold milk out of the fridge. Which cereal should I choose? I have such a selection to choose from(some well known brands half price or BOGOF or own brands at low prices)and the dates are so far into the future they'll not be wasted.
Breakfast is probably the easiest meal of the day to sort out. If you get a meal at the start and end of the day you'll come to no harm, the rest of the day doesn't really matter. You can always grab a sandwich, a snack, a banana even treat yourself to a piece of cake or a scone.
So if I don't go out today, I've plenty to do...I might even do a small wash if I have enough items.
When Mum was alive, most of the time we did not need blankets and sheets, the duvet was enough. It's the same now. I am hoping the one I am using as it's lighter it might fit in the washer. Cutting down on work and energy costs. Sadly, my single and light duvet was left at the home, I'd taken it as I thought it was not as heavy for covering Mum but I don't want to go back there, not because of the memories but I still am unhappy with some of those who are in charge, to be blunt I didn't like them when Mum was there. One I call the "smiling assassin!"
But I used to have this argument with the Social Worker and District Nurse, even when Mum was here, if cold, there was plenty of blankets otherwise a lot of the covering was un-necessary, it was more for show, appearances...and although they cannot do anything now, as they were so involved with us during Mum's illness, you'd have thought they might've made one last call to see how I am afterwards and just to draw a line under it all but no one has. Everyone just disappears. Where I live it would be so easy for them just to say "How are you doing?" They are based only two streets away next to the supermarket. As is the Carer's Association, that was a really not much use to be honest. And once you cease being a carer they offer no back up when suddenly everything has changed.
I think this is one of the criticisms that comes up a lot about the care services. Then again I actually like having as little to do with authority and government services as possible and to be in charge of my own destiny.
Anyhow for all that hopefully today is going to be a good day...and contrary to what I have written I feel positive.
Update:I've postponed the gas service until next Friday at 11am...so I can take it reasonably easy for the remainder of this week.
It has gone very dull outside. So I am catching up on programmes missed on the radio via the net, had a cup a soup, two yogurts, soon some cereal and fruit and later I may just have another turkey sandwich...Its easy but enough. I don't think I that eat much but I have a fat face and have lost the definition around my neck.
I'm still managing to shave regularly, I may tire of the daily chore but the feeling afterwards makes up for it. Me with a beard, just isn't me...
posted by The Great Gildersleeve | 9:49 am
4 Comments:
Well, you're certainly sounding more up-beat today, Gildy.
Don't be surprised if you still have 'down' days. It will happen but that's only natural.
It sounds as if you're keeping busy yet resting when you need to. You're doing okay!
Thank you VQ,:-)
Of course sometimes I sound grumpy, sometimes whether with the right intentions or not, some, well perhaps it's one or a couple of Anons seem to have castigated my way of doing things, there is no right or wrong way and as you say to some extent I can do as I wish and if that means doing as little as possible why should that worry others?
If they want to do more and are able to and my way is not for them...fine!
If I was offering support and help to someone I may gently encourage them and suggest becoming more involved in things but I wouldn't necessarily criticise or lecture.
Some people do get lonely but many like their own company.
If you do, that is a bonus.
There must be nothing worse than living a life of regret wondering about missed chances. Be it wondering about lost relationships, no children, careers that came to nothing and so on.
I feel calm and relaxed most days but its when the outside world comes looking for me things can be difficult.
Ironically though I have blog, I like keeping my head down and having a low profile.
After all why do I post under a made up persona.
I read more than ever these days.As I've mentioned before, I belong to ReadItSwapIt.co.uk so I almost never buy a book - just pay postage to send a paperback to another member. It's good to find authors that you like and then become immersed in their stories. On a cold night, there's nothing better than snuggling under the duvet with a good book and the radio on quietly in the background for company. Especially if there's nobody to tell you to 'put that light out!'. :-)
Nothing nicer than snuggling under the duvet. That was never a problem but doing as you wish is nice. That has never been a problem only that now things are no longer shared any more.
Some nasty weather promised for the next few days so its batten down the hatches time, hopefully by the time you go on your hols, it will improve again...
Post a Comment
<< Home