Not Such Good News...

I hate to talk of illness but...I'll only know after tomorrow Lunchtime...how things really are.

I see my Consultant tomorrow. I saw my Dr on Monday for my urine test, blood pressure reading and blood count.

I rang in for my blood test result earlier today and for the first time I was given much greater detail my readings. Four were fine and I started to think when I go tomorrow I can tell my Consultant some good news but... they spotted something and I was told that my cholesterol is extremely high and my createnine levels have gone up.

So I contacted my Dr who rang me back and he's explained that kidneys that are not working do not cope with cholesterol very well. He did say that what will probably happen tomorrow is that my Consultant will put me back on the treatment and he did say that he believes that I will improve once again because it's worked before. I don't know if this extra talk of cholesterol means I'm worse as my Dr asked if I'd had this before(maybe)but I was never told.

So here's hoping...I mean I don't know if I'll be given treatment straight away say in tablet form and be at home or be back in a hospital as when I first took ill and if I'll need another biopsy to see how my kidneys have changed.

I've taken another look at the side effects of the tablets I was given to get rid of water retention and it says possible changes in cholesterol level so could that be to blame? Or Coincidence? After all I need to get rid of the extra water so what else could work if this is so?

My diet cannot be to blame, I eat mainly vegetables, lots of fruit, only lean chicken(small portions)and some fish. Though I cannot see how maybe my diet will have to change.

My first treatment with steroids meant I had three large doses fed into me by a drip and I don't know if that's how they'll do it this time. So if I disappear suddenly you know why. If the treatment fails I hate to think what is likely to happen next.

Ironically, though the departments that deal with health matters and benefits that you are entitled to when ill accepted all the information from me earlier last year about my condition, another department has started to contact with forms and though I am very ill(probably more than I realise)because the Government in the UK is coming up with new ideas to reduce people being helped, genuine cases of ill and disabled people are being stressed with lots of paperwork and/or being called in to meetings.

I had to get help from a charity who advises on such problems last Friday and only on Monday(I had to ask my own Dr how fit I was so I could complete one of these forms) The form is useless as there is no room to write answers in yourself and the same form only has statements which you can tick a box against. And whatever you tick will probably be the wrong answer.

I have my own Dr's support and with what I am about to face, it is crazy to expect that I can concentrate on going back into work. What makes matters worse is that all they need to do(being it's another Government department)is check the situation with my Dr(they've always had permission)and the other department could tell them, after all they've got detailed information and have also had permission to talk to those who are treating me.

If you've read earlier posts you'll know that when I first took ill I was heading for dialysis, transplant or death. And still though my own Dr's knew otherwise, a governement appointed medical officer said that I was fit and in good health! It was only the help of my own Dr's, the advisor and eventually another medical that decided that I was ill. I can do without that again.

Who in their right mind would give themselves such an illness if they were not genuine?

If things continue to deteriorate knowing what treatment may be required, I may not be around for them to write letters inviting me to attend training courses. I'm sending it back in but am no longer giving it any consideration I'm ill and have my Dr's to fight any future problems. And as of now more matters to deal with.

(But that will be the blackest of days and we haven't come to that yet)But I am in unchartered waters. It's the kidney problem that is the overiding factor but I do have mobility factors to add into the equation. Caused by the original condition...maybe, or the treatment.

BTW I may not remain so if I am given really bleak news but regardless of what I have written I do at this time feel very calm and collected. And positive.

Fingers crossed.

Mum has asked me why I seem to ask very little of my Consultant, the truth is I have over the years looked up my condition from some very reliable sources and probably know as much as I would wish to(too much perhaps)but I know from what I have gleaned, my Consultant is doing as much as anyone can. And I know he is the kind of person who will tell me what I have to hear even if I don't want to hear it.

Membranous nephritis

Glomerulonephritis